A little incident

I'll straight start off.

I was in the market today, walking, going somewhere, pretty much lost in my thoughts. I was wondering about some weird things, to be precise, I was wondering how exactly can one make one's own mind focus on the positive when it's only the negative that the mind seems to be attracted to. I was thinking about changes. I was thinking about how I was not able to recognize the person who I had become and how I could undo the change that I had probably brought upon myself. I was thinking about how cold I was becoming. Yeah, all those who know me and are giving this post a raised eyebrow, that's exactly what I was thinking.

Basically, I wasn't really in the best possible mood. 

I was looking around, not exactly taking in the surroundings but just looking for the sake of being cautious on Delhi roads. That's when I noticed a woman and a little girl standing on the same side of the road. The girl must have been around four-five years old and the woman must have been her grandmother. The woman was holding the girl's hand and was looking down at something she was trying to do. Now remember, this is West Delhi market we are talking about, you can't simply stand in the middle of a path, not when there are so many people with so much important stuff to do in their lives who are continuously rushing about because they don't have even a second to spare. Or so they assume their lives to be ;)

Anyway, as soon as I reached closer, I realised that the little girl was trying to get her foot into her slipper which seemed to be facing the other side and she wasn't able to get it to rotate and nor was she able to turn around and face the slipper in the right direction because her grandmother was clutching her hand so tightly. Like the five other people before me, I saw the duo, respectfully said "excuse me " and went ahead. 

I had just walked three steps when I turned around, the kid still hadn't figured out a way to get her foot in that slipper, I stared for five seconds, thought "oh ho ", took three steps, rotated the slipper so that she could finally get her foot in it, smiled at the sudden shining face of the girl, gave a light pat on her cheek, heard a very happy "thank you beta " from the woman and turned back on my way.

It was nothing, right ? Still it left me smiling from ear to ear. It was just a little something that made me feel I'm not really that changed a person.

Sometimes, the tiniest of things leave a big impact. This was just another of those little incidents ;)

The Raaaaiiiinnn :D

Your surroundings play a VERY important role in the kind of mood that you are in. The people you are around, the atmosphere, the type of sounds you hear !

Bah. I am just trying to get a philosophical insight as to why the rain brings me so much happiness ! Not just me, I know such other people as well ;) So in case you are one of those who cringe at the term 'rain', only imagine muddy, disgusting water and fast speeding cars splashing that very water on your neatly ironed clothes, I beg you to not read further :P 

There is something enigmatic about rain. Something that I will never be able to understand and probably not want to either cause that would just spoil the entire fun of it ! Makes sense ? It's okay. That's what rain does to me ;)

I'm not even talking about getting wet in the rain. I am just talking about the kind of atmosphere that is created during and after the showers. It's almost like your World seems filled with clarity. Sounds mad, but if you are that fanatic about rains, you are bound to get what I am saying :D

It's when you feel that breeze on your face, smell the fragrance of wet mud, watch drops of water falling from the sky above, that's when you realize how beautiful everything actually is. Sometimes when nothing seems to be going your way, nature steps in to remind you of how perfect some things in your life are. Rain is just it's way of asking you to see things with a different perspective, to lighten up your mood and see things with more clarity ;)

Rains are beautiful. They make life seem bliss. 

How? Why? When? Where? 

I don't know but some things are best left just the way they are and if they bring you tons of happiness, you better hope they remain just the same always ! :D

When things go wrong, pray for rain. Seriously ;)

Doing the right thing

Don't we spend exceedingly large amount of time wondering about all the right things to do ?
We decide, we choose, always just hoping that what we're doing is the right thing. I got up from my sleep thinking about all this. Yeah, I even sat down to write :P
I don't know, but most of the time we see things as black or white. It's either right or wrong, this or that, here or there. But that's not how things are in reality, is it ? There is gray matter. There is loads of gray matter. All it needs is a bit of understanding and perspective to look at that gray material.
We try our level best to never be wrong, but what is it that means to be right ?
Doesn't sometimes being right constitute doing something for yourself, not thinking about what the World thinks of our decisions ? As in, we question people who do things for themselves without giving a single thought to the people around them, I question their credibility, but then that is what they feel is right for them, isn't it ? Aren't we all entitled to taking certain decisions, certain rare, out of the blue decisions that are right for us regardless of what anyone else might say or think ?
I have selfless people around me, loads of them, people who always think of others, who take calculated steps to ensure no one gets hurt. I don't know where I am getting with all this. There is this thing in my mind that desperately wants to come out but I am just not able to find the appropriate words to say the same. The thing I'm trying to say is the fact that sometimes what's right is what we want to do. Regardless of whatever happened with us, whatever circumstances came upon us, whatever other people said or did. Sometimes, the right thing is to do what we want to and proceed with it. The opportunities that we get today, we may never get another day. Leaving those cause of a bunch of people who know no better than to pull you down wouldn't be beneficial for anyone. Neither you. Nor them.

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that ." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Somewhere, somehow the above quote makes a lot of sense with what I am trying to say. When the correct thing to do is to be the light but everyone expects you to join in the dark, it's only right to be that light. It's not too often that you find something to do with your complete heart and soul, I'm not at all talking about huge decisions like choosing a career or getting married, but sometimes there are some little things that you know you want to do, it's only right to do them then.

Change

"The only thing that is constant is change. " - Heraclitus

Nothing is ever really constant in our life. People, thoughts, our list of favourite things, obsession with a particular colour, most viewed sit-com, hobbies, the list can go on. From the simplest to the most complex, nothing is ever really the same.
Yet, we try to fight change all the time. We try so hard to keep things just the way they were that we end up reducing the space for growth.
We expect our friends to be the same, to laugh at the same jokes, to receive us in the same manner, to console us in the same way as they used to and if we are lucky, we find them to be the same just for a little more while.
People who have closely seen us grow expect us to be the same, to behave and speak in the way we used to, to pay attention to those matters that we used to, to laugh, smile and be jolly just the way we used to when we were kids. Yet again, if we are lucky, we manage to keep them happy for some more time by being just the way we were, by being kids.
As much as we like to think that we follow a regular routine and nothing changes, everyday something changes bit by bit. There is something new that comes up in our life with each morning sun, some new commitment, a deadline, a project, reading material, e-mails and what not. Even the toothpaste tube we use requires a change every month !
Yet, we try to fight change all the time. Probably because it's only human to be comfortable and hope to remain comfortable always, but the truth is that if nothing changes, it is a sign of stillness and that's not what life is.
Life is movement.
Life is activity.
Life is change.   
Most importantly, life is acceptance of the changes that we like and working towards changing those we don't. ;)

Random Clutter

The human mind and the human behavior have been a mystery to the Scientist and Psychologists alike since the past many centuries. We might have evolved significantly in these fields but are still not able to understand or predict how the human mind works and may work in a given circumstance.

Where is the distinction between the head and the heart ? How does the head decide what part of it's thoughts are influenced by whom ? As in, how does the head decide where to stop getting influenced by the heart in the matters of the mind ? 

Confused ? So am I. 

I am not able to understand how the human mind perceives and understands relationships. Not my relationships with my friends, but rather someone else's relationships with someone else. I know it might seem like a pretty weird thing at first as to why someone would want to understand someone else's relationship with a completely different third person. What I am trying to say is, how does our mind judge relationships ? How does it judge the relationship of two different people where I, myself am not involved. People assert with so much confidence that some person x can go to any level to help some person y, without even knowing the dynamics of the relationship between the two of them. Similarly, why do people try to create a divide between two people by trying to pollute their minds ? My doubt is rather a bit different, it is not the fact as to why people try to do such stuff, it is more of the fact that how do people believe that doing such stuff will be of any use ? Are you able to relate to what I am saying at any level at all ? I am only trying to say that why do people try to hamper someone else's relationship with a completely different third person for any reason whatsoever. 

Negativity is so much more contagious then positivity. People catch on to it so quickly, but refuse to do the same with positivity. We get angry on others so quickly. It doesn't even take a  minute for us to get mad at someone and be present with an entire list of expectations that ought to have been fulfilled. 

We even be unreasonable. Many a times, we love being unreasonable. What we forget is the fact that we may hurt close ones in the process of being in this "difficult" mode. It's okay to be difficult. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to shout on people for things that matter to you. What isn't okay is the habit of jumping to conclusions and trying to keep everything bottled up inside. We tend to take small things for granted, things which if weren't there would have probably ruined us completely. 

That friend who refuses to leave your side despite your shouting "leave me alone, leave me alone " ?

That friend who tries to resolve a dispute with you even though you were being rude to them for the nth time ?

That friend who listens to whatever it is that is bothering you ? 

That friend who is by your side in the thick and thin ? 

 Just a few instances. I could come up with an entire list. I think you got my point though. Be grateful for these people. Cause they care for you. They do now. They always will.

In this fast, accelerated world it is truly difficult to find people who genuinely care for you. If there is even a single person who does that for you, don't let them go. Hold on to them and do your best to not hurt them. 

I don't know what I'm trying to say, but as the title suggests it's just "Random Clutter".

At the end of the day, your relationships matter. They matter the most. Just cause we all are humans, we all feel and we love being loved. 

Pay them the required attention. 

Give time to people. 

Respect them. 

Love them.

Give Yourself A Chance

Exams just got over. Four days, five papers. Some crib about it, some rejoice in the fact that all of it gets over in a jiffy.
Exams are stressful times, whether you have done the entire syllabus or not, whether the subject is of your liking or not, just the word "exam" would definitely result in a rush of adrenaline in your body. It does in mine atleast. The fact that we have been giving these "exams" ever since we understood the meaning of this four letter word provides no respite either. The entire atmosphere in College changes during the preparation time. There's so much tension, so much anxiety, it's almost like people forget to smile !
We worry too much. We stress out too much. We put ourselves under excessive pressure and then expect the best possible results out of ourselves as well !
I don't know how the human mind works. I don't know how can we generalize such a thing either. However what I do know is that it responds to stress in a positive manner only uptil a threshold, the human potential can be exploited only till this level and not beyond it. Response to stress is what differentiates people on a  very basic level. How we handle a situation and react to demanding times determines our attitude towards life and vice versa. I know people whose logical reasoning begins functioning only in terribly tricky situations and then there are those who simply lose the ability to think clearly under the slightest stress. Where am I going with all this ? It's not just about exams, it's about a number of other small things which can be handled easily without stressing ourselves out, but we prefer to choose the latter.
Most of us are able to identify the amount of pressure we can 'safely' handle. What I am trying to say is, don't add unnecessary pressure on yourself from your side. There are a number of different things that we worry about. Pressure coming from all directions; parents, friends, teachers, society and what not. To add to all of this, if we begin giving ourselves a hard time, the cumulative pressure would definitely break us down !
We often have different sets of rules, one for other people and one for ouselves. If sometimes someone doesn't behave in an expected manner, we eventually forgive them, without even constantly reminding them of what they have done, while on the other hand we're not that easy with ourselves. We begin critising ourselves and make it seem like we did some huge, terrible, unrectifiable mistake for which we ought to be punished. I am not saying we all are like that. That would be height of generalization. What I am saying is that at some level or the other we tend to be too harsh with ourselves.
No one's perfect and we're all allowed mistakes. If we can give others a chance, we ought to give ourselves a chance as well.

^Post Exams Effect.
^Post Exams Realisation.
Whatever it is that you are faced with today, it's because you are capable of handling it. How to react to it, is what determines whether you will be able to or not.

"It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it." - Lou Holtz

College Life

Often there are those certain eureka moments when you suddenly realise something, something that was there right in front of your eyes since such a long time but you just didn't see it the way you were supposed to. You never really saw things in the light in which you suddenly see them now.
"College" is not something new for me nor has something drastic happened that I would begin viewing it in a different light altogether. It's just another normal, regular,boring day today. Had classes in the morning, then lab, got back home and now I'm just sitting with my laptop on.
So what happened ? My sister's college farewell video. There is absolutely no connection, no relation whatsoever. It was a five minute clip made by their juniors to bid them farewell. It talked about all those fun moments, special locations and events of their college. For an outsider(like me) it should have meant nothing, right ? After all, it was just a bunch of photographs depicting fun in the true sense, videos of an infrastructure that I've never seen before and minute details of a life that these guys had been living since the past two years without realizing how much they're going to miss those little intricacies. 
They are done with their education now. They have jobs in hand. Someone with a higher pay-scale than the other, but I don't know how to put in words what I'm feeling right now. It's NOT my farewell ! I still have good about two years in this institute, two years that I intend to make the best of.
I just don't know why that video hit me this hard or maybe it's just the entire situation taking it's toll over me.
College. Half of the time we spend studying. The remaining half we spend cribbing about what we have to study.
Oh wait wait ! We laugh ! We do laugh ! We have fun, we get crazy, we pull each others' leg, we help each other out. We do all that.
But we keep forgetting, studying is probably one of the easiest things to do in life. I'm sure, I will get a lot of raised eye-brows on that one but somewhere it's true. It's probably the most simple phase of our life, when we don't have the added responsibility of someone else on our shoulders, we don't need to worry about earning, raising up a family or rising to the expectations of our boss and so on.
That's just what I feel. That's what maybe atleast some of you will feel as well. It's just some vague, random realization that whatever we're doing now, it's probably one of the best things that we'll ever do in our life, and you know somewhere deep down we all know this. Ask those who have passed out, who have been working since the past ten years, all those people remember their college/school days with utmost fondness. One person can be wrong, ten people might be wrong, but if an entire generation says the same thing, there might be something of value in what they think.
I don't know where I am going with this. I just realized, this is the best phase of our life which we ought to celebrate, click more photographs, have more moments, spend more time with one another, sit and talk for longer, hug more often, tell each other they are valued !
That's just what I realized, this thing that we have right now ? It's really the best.