A Note of (and on) Gratitude

Often times, I believe, gratitude comes a little too late. Appreciation of a person or event or phase of life is mostly via the rear-view mirror as opposed to the windscreen. Employee farewell letters are often overflowing with gratitude towards peers to whom none of it was ever conveyed during the course of the tenure. It takes the demise of a well-known celebrity/individual for the entire nation to collectively showcase gratitude towards the achievements of any artist. I guess, it's often the (short or long) absence of the regular mundane presence, be it a relationship, hobby, convenience, or habit, that evokes feelings of gratitude.

Part of it is natural too - given the over busy schedules, tightly packed calendars, over-exhausted brains, it probably is not easy to acknowledge and appreciate all that we want to, and more importantly all that we should. Each thought has a seed - and this is being planted by a huge work milestone around the corner - completion of six huge years at a place where I had envisioned six months, at max. 

Truth be told, it has taken me a while to overcome the feeling of OMG WHATT on completing that daunting tenure, and transition into the excessive yet apt emotion of gratitude. At different points of life, during professional and personal conversations, the discussion of five-year plan or ten-year plan has invariably come up. And more often than not, the only response that I remember ever giving has been - "I see myself in a role where I am happy" (how appropriate is this response for traditional/ambitious career growth is a completely separate and (potentially) unrelated discussion). Today, I think I can safely say that that is a state that I am in (atleast 87.5% of the time) - which in itself is a huge achievement.

This tenure allowed me to grow beyond what I think I can be or do, allowed me to support and encourage people (especially women) to be more of who they can be - and to let the wider audience see their power, ideas, and confidence. It has allowed me to pursue things that I did not know I could enjoy, while letting me be okay with shedding ideas/aspects that I thought I had to be. So here's me expressing gratitude for something that is ongoing, something that is in motion, and something that is not yet in the past. May we continue to find spaces where we can feel like we belong and may we continue to create spaces where others feel belonged!

Is this a revival?

Truth be told, I had forgotten about the existence of this space since the past TWELVE years! It is only as part of some recent conversations that I remembered that I used to write, catalog, and maintain a repository of feelings and events - because that is essentially what a "personal" blog is, right? A digital catalog of one's thoughts and expressions as they navigate through the daily conundrums of life. 

I do not know how to write a revival post, and how it can summarize the events and growth of the past decade. I wish the Pythagoras Theorem could help me out here, but alas, I think it is for me to figure this out on my own ;). The one thing that has remained consistent though (as compared to the previous posts) - is the use of punctuations based emojis! Despite the absolute influx and (apparent) takeover of our lives by AI, I still find joy in the humble ':D's and ':)'s and ';)'s, while typing on a laptop/Mac. 

"AI" - maybe that could be the theme of the revival post - but I wonder how to dissect this complicated yet omnipresent term, and more importantly my ever-so-complicated relationship with it :D. Today, there is a huge buzz in the entire World with AI taking over, in terms of sophisticated chatbots, agents, automated workflows, etc. On the other hand, for me, AI still remains code - a bunch of files which can adhere to a human defined logic, which can be configured at will, and more importantly which can be "shut down" when required. The power of this code is huge - and so is the power of the humans who understand it, develop it, and execute it. Being part of the generation of researchers who saw this very field grow and evolve while being heavily involved in it - makes one wonder if my contributions should be more? :). But then, what are 'contributions' and who defines 'more'? In the current World of absolute non-linear chaos, trajectories, and blurred definitions, I guess it falls upon oneself to seek the meaning of such questions. 

I suppose it's safe to say that the transition from being a developer of AI to an adopter of AI is tough and not straightforward. It is difficult to segregate the working day from the non-working hours, difficult to segregate the job from the fun. Regardless of everything, I guess AI has done its job of silently creeping into all domains - including this revival post! Given its huge role in my past decade, it is only fair that the theme captures the majority of limelight :).