"Yaar tu hassti nahi hai "

When someone who has just been an acquaintance to you, comes up to you and says "yaar tu hassti nahi hai", it's like a wake up call for you. 

It's time to think of what it is that is going wrong and where. Knowing myself, this would be the last line that I would want someone to come and say to me, but nonetheleses I am more than grateful for the person to be frank enough with me. He probably did not realize what an effect his one single line had on me. 

I could probably name a number of things in my defense right now and say, this this this this this is what is making me like that. The point being, is it worth it ? 

Anything, absolutely anything, is it worth taking away your sunshine ? People would argue and even I would agree that certain things tend to have an enormous impact upon you, whether you like it or not. Till the time that impact is not ever lasting, it's healthy. It's proof that you are human. But letting something break you completely that you are not able to focus on anything other than that is definitely not a good sign. And if you are anywhere close to the kinds who love(s/d) laughing, spreading smiles and then someone comes up to you and says the above line, that's definitely a horrible sign. 

We have work. We all have work. We will always have work. That is one fact that I have just come to terms with. We will also have days. Days when we just feel like rolling into a blanket and not getting out and those days might even stretch for more than a "few days". You will eventually get out of these, probably even feeling silly for being there at the first place. But if there is someone around you who is having such a time, give them space. Give them time. No one loves being unhappy. No one loves not laughing. Sometimes, it's just about that one extra bit of understanding. Sometimes it's just about that one extra bit of patience. 

There was this anonymous quote which goes like "A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're at home". Probably nothing great about the quote, but just makes me smile, it just goes through you in a weirdly warm way. 

As for the issue of me being perpetually glum, here's to laughing more often ;) :P

Being Rude.

It's an easy way out, isn't it ? Being rude ? 

You don't like something ? Be rude.

You don't like someone ? Be rude.

You disagree with something ? Be rude. 

Oh and the most favourite. You want to escape something ? Be rude. 

No, I don't have a problem with people being rude. I have a problem with people being rude and not realizing the same. I have a problem with those being rude, realizing it, but not doing anything to rectify it. I have a serious problem with those. And as it seems, the problem just seems to increase. I should probably try to do something about it. It's not my headache how people behave, is it ? It is a reflection of who they are and the kind of lives they live. Isn't it ? No.

It's not that simple. Never is. Atleast I don't think so. If you do, then let me know as well. How not to let people's behavior affect you, is something that I need to learn desperately. You don't always meet like-minded people, do you ? Rare chance. 

We live in a perpetual state of rat-race. We are perpetually running, competing, fighting, arguing, grabbing opportunities. What we don't realize is that in all this rush, we are being rude. And the best part ? Not realizing the same.

Here's a shout out to all those to whom I have ever been rude, intentionally or unintentionally, I apologise. Genuinely. 

I think it's high time we sit for two minutes (let's leave that Facebook tab for just two minutes) and just think whether who you are is exactly who you wanted to become. Just think about those times when you have given someone a cold shoulder for no reason whatsoever. And the best part ? Forgot to accept that fact either. 

It might not matter to you. One curt reply. One rude remark. It might just be making someone completely miserable. We don't know the battles the other person is facing, if we cant make them any better, let's not try to make them any worse either.

Untitled - II

"The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their bones;"
-Shakespeare

It takes years to build trust. It takes years for a relationship to nurture. But you do one thing wrong. And BAM! It's all gone. Or even a wrong intent. Why even an intent ? Even a mis-interpreted signal can make everything blow off in a minute. Everything, as much as you might have ever worked in a relationship. One wrong step and it's all gone.

I wonder why. I genuinely wonder why. Are such relationships not the kind that are meant to last ? I have seen friendships of really long time crumble into pieces just because one person did something wrong once. And these are not some general acquaintances or the regular "hi-bye types" friendships that I am talking about here. I am talking about serious, solid relationships. Doesn't all this make everything seem futile ? I mean, whatever, whatever you might do, if one wrong step ruins everything, then I don't see point in anything at all. 

Faith in humanity ? Gone.

But well, like (almost) every post, we can't really just focus on the negative now, can we ? Somewhere amidst those broken relations are the one which really count. The ones which really matter. I don't know whether they are meant to last till 'forever' or whether they will be able to 'stand the test of time' but what I do know is that these are the relations which we have for NOW. Life would probably be way more worse had it not been for these few bunch of people. There's just this slight fear in me sometimes. The fear of losing people. The fear of losing those who matter. Every person has a different way of reacting to different things ? Different way of approaching a problem ? I have been taught by a very close friend of mine to say "hello" to the problem right in the face. Be it a person, a thing, a question unsolved, a broken promise, a friend ignored or something else. Whatever it is, meet it upfront. That doesn't work always. It definitely doesn't for me. What happens then ? You figure it out :P But when it comes to people, one ought to be very careful. Very very careful. 

The only respite in the entire entire scenario is that there would be more people like you out there. More people who would think like this and a few more people who would understand all that goes on into your mind. Hold on to those. Try Always ? 

Faith in humanity ? Semi-restored.

Be careful of how others drive.

If you ever got the opportunity to drive a vehicle, or even learn how to drive one, I am pretty sure you would have heard some version of "Be wary of how others drive" a million times. Or one pet dialogue which seems pretty famous, atleast in my area, "You might be driving right, but you don't know of the other person". 

It is funny, don't you think ? You are the person behind the wheel. You are managing that 'perfect co-ordination' between the clutch, brake and accelerator. You are the person deciding which gear to shift to when, when to be at neutral and when to simply set your engine to life. And yet. You do not only need to focus on what YOU are doing, but also on what others are doing, for your sake ! 

Like really ?! Nor do you take the responsibility of all those sitting in the vehicle with you, but to ensure their (and your) utmost safety you NEED to be careful of how others drive. It is not sufficient if you have mastered the art of balancing the three ABCs (as I was recently told, Accelerator, Brake, Clutch, in that order o.O), you also need to master the art of magically knowing that there will be some idiot in a completely opposite lane wanting to come right infront of you just to back to where he came from. 

In a general way, all those people who believe "live and let live", I really don't understand how that works. We live in a society where we are supposed to be 'social animals'. So how does one manage to live on their own without really caring how the other person is living their life is something I would love to know. I don't know, even if you do try to do so follow the 'live and let live' funda, I don't know for how long would someone be able to survive on that. It's more of ignorance that I am talking about right now. A complete state of ignorance where we just don't care of what the other person is doing. That's the kind of state that I have in mind. 

As easy as it may be to live like that, it's almost impossible. 

As easy as it may be to drive like that, it's extremely difficult. 

Be careful of how others drive!

What goes around, comes around

I am a believer of karma. Not at the entire reincarnation level, but at a simple day-to-day basis. I believe that what we do comes back to us. What we think decides what happens. Too much power to self, isn't it ?
It might not happen right now, it might not happen today or day after, but it does. Eventually. I don't know how true this is, I am too young to pass any judgement on that. But I like to believe that my belief is correct.

I like to believe that there is some greater power out there keeping track of everything that's happening with you in your life and making sure that you don't end up with something unjustified.

I like to believe that we all have these little notebooks and for each moment spent in despair there is this great huge moment of ecstasy being built up just somewhere in the near future and all we need to do is to hold on for some time to reach there.

I like to believe that when things go wrong, they don't go wrong endlessly and that the wrong stops at a point to give rise to something that we have been waiting for since long.
I may be naive. I may be over optimistic. But I like to believe that my belief is correct.

^Random, sudden realisations of self and beliefs.
^^Exam week about to begin. (:P)

"Come-back"

Sometimes you don't get the right words. Sometimes you don't understand properly. Sometimes words don't seem to do justice. But sometimes you just forget. I forgot to blog. I forgot to write. The thing that I was so enthusiastic about, I forgot about that.
Can I see a reason as to why it happened ? Can I pinpoint at something ? No. I don't think so. Sometimes it just happens ? I dont know. I feel guilty enough for not posting since such a long time just cause it seems I haven't done justice to myself.
But well, no point dwelling over the must-haves or the could-haves. Like this quote I once read, "if it could have, it would have". I really don't remember when I read this or by whom it was, my apologies for the same !

There are sudden moments when there's too much to do ? Absolutely too much ? All you feel like doing is just to get into your cozy blanket, turn on the music (full volume) and just vanish somewhere ? Before today I used to wonder how and why would someone want to do something like that ? Today, I pretty much get that. I completely and totally get that feeling. If you are one of those who don't understand this feeling, wait for it. Trust me, wait for it.
And you know what's even more frustrating ? Not finding the correct songs ! Seriously ! Someone needs to help me out here. I am terribly out of songs -_-.
Anyway, this is supposed to be my "come-back-post" and instead it's turning into a bunch of sad, depressing paragraphs !

So what if there's work ? :D Haven't we been doing that ever since so long ? So what if we have a bunch of deadlines all lined up ? It's not something new now, is it ? It's almost like a way of life now. So what if once in a while you feel like letting everything be and just take a break, it's pretty much allowed, isn't it ?

Just not when there's so much to do. Just not now ;)

A little incident

I'll straight start off.

I was in the market today, walking, going somewhere, pretty much lost in my thoughts. I was wondering about some weird things, to be precise, I was wondering how exactly can one make one's own mind focus on the positive when it's only the negative that the mind seems to be attracted to. I was thinking about changes. I was thinking about how I was not able to recognize the person who I had become and how I could undo the change that I had probably brought upon myself. I was thinking about how cold I was becoming. Yeah, all those who know me and are giving this post a raised eyebrow, that's exactly what I was thinking.

Basically, I wasn't really in the best possible mood. 

I was looking around, not exactly taking in the surroundings but just looking for the sake of being cautious on Delhi roads. That's when I noticed a woman and a little girl standing on the same side of the road. The girl must have been around four-five years old and the woman must have been her grandmother. The woman was holding the girl's hand and was looking down at something she was trying to do. Now remember, this is West Delhi market we are talking about, you can't simply stand in the middle of a path, not when there are so many people with so much important stuff to do in their lives who are continuously rushing about because they don't have even a second to spare. Or so they assume their lives to be ;)

Anyway, as soon as I reached closer, I realised that the little girl was trying to get her foot into her slipper which seemed to be facing the other side and she wasn't able to get it to rotate and nor was she able to turn around and face the slipper in the right direction because her grandmother was clutching her hand so tightly. Like the five other people before me, I saw the duo, respectfully said "excuse me " and went ahead. 

I had just walked three steps when I turned around, the kid still hadn't figured out a way to get her foot in that slipper, I stared for five seconds, thought "oh ho ", took three steps, rotated the slipper so that she could finally get her foot in it, smiled at the sudden shining face of the girl, gave a light pat on her cheek, heard a very happy "thank you beta " from the woman and turned back on my way.

It was nothing, right ? Still it left me smiling from ear to ear. It was just a little something that made me feel I'm not really that changed a person.

Sometimes, the tiniest of things leave a big impact. This was just another of those little incidents ;)