On Timing (and Books)

I am a strong believer of the fact that the right book comes to you at the right time. The same book can come a few years earlier, and it would mean nothing. The same book might reappear a few years later, and it would mean nothing. But the right book appears at the right time - maybe finally read off your bookshelf, maybe timely gifted by someone, maybe it pops up in an absolutely random conversation, or maybe it's just right infront of you, for the first time, at a regularly frequented bookstore. (Books are like signs from the Universe, if you care enough to see them? Maybe I am not just talking about books ;))

One such book is "The God of Small Things" - freshly finished in four days (had it just been the weekend, it could have finished in two as well). The first time, it came to me when I probably was too young to comprehend and appreciate it. A Booker Prize Winner fiction written by a women Indian author - I picked it up very excitedly then, but could never read beyond a couple of pages. It was recently re-introduced in my life via discussions with different people, especially with a friend who is an ardent fan of the author, and in a completely unrelated manner, gifted to me by a dear friend (IF THIS IS NOT HOW THE UNIVERSE WORKS - I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS). It is now that I truly acknowledge that I was too young for it then, and maybe, held a grudge against it for no fault of the book (I have different complaints now, but more on that later). 

The writing is intelligent. The language is complicated. The plot is not surprising. The relationships are complex. The story-telling is engrossing. The book just leaves you with a lot of deep feelings. It also leaves you with a lot of layers to unpack in terms of all the small things that happen, leading to big things. It leaves you wanting for more - more understanding of the characters, more insight into their lives, and just more desire to be intentional in your life. It's a read that is going to stay with me for a while, but I still don't know how much I liked it - I did not know that the two feelings could co-exist, but apparently they can, and it's not necessarily a bad thing.

I had been meaning to post something since a long time. I had been meaning to read this one since a long time. And I had been meaning to finish one in a sprint since a long time. I guess the Universe did its magic to make all three come true!

A Note of (and on) Gratitude

Often times, I believe, gratitude comes a little too late. Appreciation of a person or event or phase of life is mostly via the rear-view mirror as opposed to the windscreen. Employee farewell letters are often overflowing with gratitude towards peers to whom none of it was ever conveyed during the course of the tenure. It takes the demise of a well-known celebrity/individual for the entire nation to collectively showcase gratitude towards the achievements of any artist. I guess, it's often the (short or long) absence of the regular mundane presence, be it a relationship, hobby, convenience, or habit, that evokes feelings of gratitude.

Part of it is natural too - given the over busy schedules, tightly packed calendars, over-exhausted brains, it probably is not easy to acknowledge and appreciate all that we want to, and more importantly all that we should. Each thought has a seed - and this is being planted by a huge work milestone around the corner - completion of six huge years at a place where I had envisioned six months, at max. 

Truth be told, it has taken me a while to overcome the feeling of OMG WHATT on completing that daunting tenure, and transition into the excessive yet apt emotion of gratitude. At different points of life, during professional and personal conversations, the discussion of five-year plan or ten-year plan has invariably come up. And more often than not, the only response that I remember ever giving has been - "I see myself in a role where I am happy" (how appropriate is this response for traditional/ambitious career growth is a completely separate and (potentially) unrelated discussion). Today, I think I can safely say that that is a state that I am in (atleast 87.5% of the time) - which in itself is a huge achievement.

This tenure allowed me to grow beyond what I think I can be or do, allowed me to support and encourage people (especially women) to be more of who they can be - and to let the wider audience see their power, ideas, and confidence. It has allowed me to pursue things that I did not know I could enjoy, while letting me be okay with shedding ideas/aspects that I thought I had to be. So here's me expressing gratitude for something that is ongoing, something that is in motion, and something that is not yet in the past. May we continue to find spaces where we can feel like we belong and may we continue to create spaces where others feel belonged!

Is this a revival?

Truth be told, I had forgotten about the existence of this space since the past TWELVE years! It is only as part of some recent conversations that I remembered that I used to write, catalog, and maintain a repository of feelings and events - because that is essentially what a "personal" blog is, right? A digital catalog of one's thoughts and expressions as they navigate through the daily conundrums of life. 

I do not know how to write a revival post, and how it can summarize the events and growth of the past decade. I wish the Pythagoras Theorem could help me out here, but alas, I think it is for me to figure this out on my own ;). The one thing that has remained consistent though (as compared to the previous posts) - is the use of punctuations based emojis! Despite the absolute influx and (apparent) takeover of our lives by AI, I still find joy in the humble ':D's and ':)'s and ';)'s, while typing on a laptop/Mac. 

"AI" - maybe that could be the theme of the revival post - but I wonder how to dissect this complicated yet omnipresent term, and more importantly my ever-so-complicated relationship with it :D. Today, there is a huge buzz in the entire World with AI taking over, in terms of sophisticated chatbots, agents, automated workflows, etc. On the other hand, for me, AI still remains code - a bunch of files which can adhere to a human defined logic, which can be configured at will, and more importantly which can be "shut down" when required. The power of this code is huge - and so is the power of the humans who understand it, develop it, and execute it. Being part of the generation of researchers who saw this very field grow and evolve while being heavily involved in it - makes one wonder if my contributions should be more? :). But then, what are 'contributions' and who defines 'more'? In the current World of absolute non-linear chaos, trajectories, and blurred definitions, I guess it falls upon oneself to seek the meaning of such questions. 

I suppose it's safe to say that the transition from being a developer of AI to an adopter of AI is tough and not straightforward. It is difficult to segregate the working day from the non-working hours, difficult to segregate the job from the fun. Regardless of everything, I guess AI has done its job of silently creeping into all domains - including this revival post! Given its huge role in my past decade, it is only fair that the theme captures the majority of limelight :). 

Realisations, Birthday, Acceptance :D

I'm sitting and writing a post long due. Long long long due. But finally I have come to write it and hopefully would even complete the same ;)
There are so many things that I want to make note of, share with you, but I'm not sure in what light they will be taken. That's the first learning for me, whatever you say or do, those who have to take you in the wrong, will ;) So start being chill. Those who want to understand will find a way to and those who want to hold you responsible for utterly ridiculous stuff will do so anyway. So chill.
Continuing with the same, the people who want to be there, will. The people who want to care, will. After a point we should stop trying. We should stop trying to get that person back into our lives, if it mattered, they will be back. I'm not saying break off all relations and create a wall just to see who manages to climb it. No. What I am saying is that if you have tried enough to save a relationship, it's time you stop. And trust me, you'll know. You'll know when you can't do anymore, don't kill yourself at that time. Cause each one of us is different and each one of us react in a different way to various things. If people cared, they'll find a way back.
We have such a short time here. Such a short time. I had such amazing fun on my birthday and the only thought that was in my mind at the end of the day was, "Why am I not this happy everyday? ".
I've recently come to realise that this blog of mine has started becoming melancholic. Probably because I have started becoming like that. But not anymore ;) This birthday taught me a number of things. All of which have just pushed me to just let things go. To just thank people for the slightest of things that they do, they don't owe me anything, do they?
Even a minute spared by someone to wish me is a big deal. It is. It truly is.
I feel happy after this birthday. I feel free. I feel light. 
I think we should stop forcing people to do things. Especially for celebrations. It's a celebration! If someone wants to be a part of it, they'll say, else you'll know ;)

It's just that it's so easy to say all this, so easy to feel all this for two days, but this time this feeling is here to stay. It's time to be happy with oneself and even if a single person cares, it's time to cherish that ;)

It's time to take control. It's time to get things in place. It's time to get yourself in place. It's time to let go of all the negative and it's time to smile bright :D

Thank You for making my birthday so amazing. Thank you so much :D

Don't jump right into it.

I have never talked about anything "technical" here till now. But today, right now, I NEED to.
I have to tell you, never jump right into it :P Never ever. You are given a problem and you directly jump into it and start coding ? Bad idea.
I have heard a number of people tell me this, but you don't learn till you experience, right ? Dont do that :P
The immeasurable happiness you feel upon completing something really quick is one side, and the level of frustration you feel when your realise you made the smallest error possible is indescribable.
Think through the stuff. Think it through properly. It's not gonna make sense right now, it never did to me either, but once you experience it ( I hope you don't, you'll understand everything :P ).

There is nowhere where this post is going :P Absolutely none :P
Oh, and if by chance you are working in the Pattern Recognition field, which requires training and testing samples, my humble request, please look at the data carefully. Those sincere looking bunch of bits will make your life hell in a second and you wouldn't even realise it! You'll just be left cursing yourself as to why you didn't pay "attention to detail" before.

Think it through :P

I need to go back to fixing the stuff I have "hurriedly" messed up now. \:D/

We're all in this together.

Hello !
I've been travelling in the metro since the past ten days or so, during the Office hours to reach my internship location. It takes around an hour just in the metro itself. Now, during the initial days, I had all sorts of things in my mind, "Why am "I" doing this ?", "Why is life so competitive ? " and God knows what not. I mean, there were quite a number of things in my mind on the same lines. It's not like a sudden epiphany or something, but within three four days, I started seeing familiar faces. That woman who would sit and watch movies on her Samsung Tab ( who would be in the metro when I would get on, meaning it takes her even longer to reach her destination ), that group of three women who would enter the metro together and NO ONE would be spared of the observation that someone new has come in ( :P ), that old lady who carries her laptop with her and refuses to sit when someone especially gets up and offers a seat to her. The pair of friends, one of whom has recently gotten married and is often applauded by the other one for managing both house and office work. All these people, and so many more. I am sure if I be a tiny bit more observant, I will get to know about many more such people. All regular people, getting up at 7 in the morning to catch the 7:40 metro, so that they reach their offices by 9. All of them have the same story. Broadly, all of them are the commuters of the 7:40 metro.
Sometimes we feel, that it is impossible for someone else to understand what's happening. We give petty issues so much importance, so much importance that it seems like nothing worse could have happened. That day, I was going to board the metro and the escalator was not working. Early morning no escalator. And immediately what do I say to myself ? "Oh God, that's the worst thing that can happen, taking the stairs early in the morning", and within half a minute, I am laughing at my own stupidity ( The security guard checking me that day surely thought something was fishy seeing the goofy eyed expression on my face ). I don't know whether you do this or not, but I do and I have started consciously keeping a check now :P
My point was, we feel it's impossible for someone else to understand what's happening. You know what ? We all are going through our own battles. We all are just so same. I don't know, it's like things have started making sense all of a sudden :P No, I haven't lost it and probably this clarity won't even last for long because seriously speaking it's too difficult to look for logic in this haphazard, ever-so-fast, competitive World anymore.
It's just that, there is this quote from the book P.S I Love You by Cecelia Ahern, if you haven't read the book, I request you to read it, if nothing else then just for this quote :P I read this around six years back and loved it right then, just yesterday I re-read it and suddenly it seemed absolutely perfect. Here's what it is:
"The thing to remember is, even if we are all alone, we are together in that too."
It just brings some sense of peace to realise that you are not alone. You have someone with you, you don't have to do it all alone. Look around, there will be someone, someone fighting a battle similar to yours and if that's not the case, then everyone is together in being alone as well ;)
It's just beautiful.

Stop running away.

Stop running away from your insecurities.
Stop running away from your fears.
Stop running away from the hardships.
Stop running away from your tears.

Start facing the truth.
Start searching for facts.
Start expressing yourself.
Start pulling together your act.

Stop being rude.
Stop being cold.
Stop being dis-heartened.
Stop putting a hold.

Stop lying.
Stop assuming.
Start trying.
Start thinking.

Start smiling more.

Start being there.

Start spreading love.

Start showing you care.

Start accepting errors.
Start amending mistakes.
Start extending your sunshine.
Start living again.

Start experiencing everything around.
Stop running away from life.

Start living openly again.

Start experiencing life.

Put on your Superman robes

Exam-time is just around the corner. What scares me more than the exams are the project deadlines :P It's interesting, as soon as you get into the third year in IIIT-Delhi, exams lose their importance and projects become the all-important of many courses. It is a great thing owing to the kind of hands-on experience it provides, the experience it leaves us with, but then of course, the work is also there :P

Anyway, so I was just thinking of all the exam-times which I have spent in this Institute, that is whatever I could remember. The only thing that I can remember from the first year, is the NSIT labs, staying back after some exam to sit together and study. Also, the late night calls to people in the hope of understanding stuff which makes sense only at 2 A.M in the night. Studying together on Gtalk, on group chats, "Kab tak jaag rahe ho ? Yaar mujhe 10 minute main call kar ke jagah dena. ". Amazing. Amazing time that was. I can only smile whenever I think of those times. The same can be said for the second year I believe. Till the time we did not have electives and most of the courses were same, such was the state at the time of End-Sems. The calls lessened as we took the Hostels, but well that part is for another post. I don's think I would have made it through those five end-sems without the kind of people that were there then :P

And then, the last semester! The only thing that I remember of the last sem, first sem of the third year, are the PROJECTS! I dont remember sitting together solving problems, discussing solutions to questions or anything along those lines, but what I do remember are projects and that too loads of work just towards the end of the semester.

Where am I getting to ? We are entering that crazy-no-sleep-too-many-projects phase of our semester. It's just like ten days till the end of the sem and it's time to put on your Superman robes. It's time to get into the oh-I-am-so-crazy mode and start working like that's the only thing left in life :P
It's not something that we can't do, for sure. We have done it before, we can do it again. We just need those robes ;) And everyone, mind it, everyone has their own set of personal Superman robes.  We just sometimes tend to forget to put them on, or forget where we placed them after last using them.

Get them out. Dust them. Put them on. Get working \:D/

It's not fair.

It is absolutely not fair.
It is just not fair.
It is not justifiable nor is it explainable.
It just doesn't make sense!

In this World, there is a lot of sleep as well as work! No! One of the two should be present. At least at one particular time!

We should be able to enjoy both of them, isn't it ? But this way, we get to enjoy none of the two! One gets sacrificed because of the other ALWAYS!
If you think of completing all the work, you are bound to lose your "beauty sleep", if you plan to sleep peacefully then there is no way that you can complete the work. Oh, when I am talking about work, I am talking about work of the IIIT-Delhi level. Work which guarantees to make you eligible for the "Busy Bee" badge on Backpack atleast twice in twenty days :P

For the record, I am not cribbing about workload or something, I am just stating the fact that both of them co-existing is not fair though there isn't much that can be done about it either.

So anyway, point being:
- I have work
- I want to sleep
- It's not fair

:P

Work work work work work work work \:D/

"Chanda ki paalki mein dil ki muraad layi

Jannat ka noor leke mehndi ki raat aayi"

No. The above two lines have no reference to absolutely anything! Nothing at all! Just the lyrics of some random song being played over and over and over and over and over. 

THERE IS SO MUCH WORK.

There. I said it \:D/

It's almost like work is like these small little balloons filled with water(reference: Holi) and you are being pelted from every possible direction. And the best part is ? You are in this open field with absolutely NO place to hide \:D/

Wonderful, isn't it ? 

It begins like this, initially it comes as a shock and you try to duck, dodge, deal with the balloons, after sometime, you even start enjoying the entire act of being pelted from each direction. However, after all this, there comes a moment when you are just like, ENOUGH. Either you decide to do something of the ongoing attack or you just become immune to them. 

I have NO IDEA what I want to say. 

I am tired. Exhausted \:D/

Currently, even funny :P

Okay, that's it.

Kthx for reading, it made no difference at all \:D/ 

"Yaar tu hassti nahi hai "

When someone who has just been an acquaintance to you, comes up to you and says "yaar tu hassti nahi hai", it's like a wake up call for you. 

It's time to think of what it is that is going wrong and where. Knowing myself, this would be the last line that I would want someone to come and say to me, but nonetheleses I am more than grateful for the person to be frank enough with me. He probably did not realize what an effect his one single line had on me. 

I could probably name a number of things in my defense right now and say, this this this this this is what is making me like that. The point being, is it worth it ? 

Anything, absolutely anything, is it worth taking away your sunshine ? People would argue and even I would agree that certain things tend to have an enormous impact upon you, whether you like it or not. Till the time that impact is not ever lasting, it's healthy. It's proof that you are human. But letting something break you completely that you are not able to focus on anything other than that is definitely not a good sign. And if you are anywhere close to the kinds who love(s/d) laughing, spreading smiles and then someone comes up to you and says the above line, that's definitely a horrible sign. 

We have work. We all have work. We will always have work. That is one fact that I have just come to terms with. We will also have days. Days when we just feel like rolling into a blanket and not getting out and those days might even stretch for more than a "few days". You will eventually get out of these, probably even feeling silly for being there at the first place. But if there is someone around you who is having such a time, give them space. Give them time. No one loves being unhappy. No one loves not laughing. Sometimes, it's just about that one extra bit of understanding. Sometimes it's just about that one extra bit of patience. 

There was this anonymous quote which goes like "A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're at home". Probably nothing great about the quote, but just makes me smile, it just goes through you in a weirdly warm way. 

As for the issue of me being perpetually glum, here's to laughing more often ;) :P

Being Rude.

It's an easy way out, isn't it ? Being rude ? 

You don't like something ? Be rude.

You don't like someone ? Be rude.

You disagree with something ? Be rude. 

Oh and the most favourite. You want to escape something ? Be rude. 

No, I don't have a problem with people being rude. I have a problem with people being rude and not realizing the same. I have a problem with those being rude, realizing it, but not doing anything to rectify it. I have a serious problem with those. And as it seems, the problem just seems to increase. I should probably try to do something about it. It's not my headache how people behave, is it ? It is a reflection of who they are and the kind of lives they live. Isn't it ? No.

It's not that simple. Never is. Atleast I don't think so. If you do, then let me know as well. How not to let people's behavior affect you, is something that I need to learn desperately. You don't always meet like-minded people, do you ? Rare chance. 

We live in a perpetual state of rat-race. We are perpetually running, competing, fighting, arguing, grabbing opportunities. What we don't realize is that in all this rush, we are being rude. And the best part ? Not realizing the same.

Here's a shout out to all those to whom I have ever been rude, intentionally or unintentionally, I apologise. Genuinely. 

I think it's high time we sit for two minutes (let's leave that Facebook tab for just two minutes) and just think whether who you are is exactly who you wanted to become. Just think about those times when you have given someone a cold shoulder for no reason whatsoever. And the best part ? Forgot to accept that fact either. 

It might not matter to you. One curt reply. One rude remark. It might just be making someone completely miserable. We don't know the battles the other person is facing, if we cant make them any better, let's not try to make them any worse either.

Untitled - II

"The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their bones;"
-Shakespeare

It takes years to build trust. It takes years for a relationship to nurture. But you do one thing wrong. And BAM! It's all gone. Or even a wrong intent. Why even an intent ? Even a mis-interpreted signal can make everything blow off in a minute. Everything, as much as you might have ever worked in a relationship. One wrong step and it's all gone.

I wonder why. I genuinely wonder why. Are such relationships not the kind that are meant to last ? I have seen friendships of really long time crumble into pieces just because one person did something wrong once. And these are not some general acquaintances or the regular "hi-bye types" friendships that I am talking about here. I am talking about serious, solid relationships. Doesn't all this make everything seem futile ? I mean, whatever, whatever you might do, if one wrong step ruins everything, then I don't see point in anything at all. 

Faith in humanity ? Gone.

But well, like (almost) every post, we can't really just focus on the negative now, can we ? Somewhere amidst those broken relations are the one which really count. The ones which really matter. I don't know whether they are meant to last till 'forever' or whether they will be able to 'stand the test of time' but what I do know is that these are the relations which we have for NOW. Life would probably be way more worse had it not been for these few bunch of people. There's just this slight fear in me sometimes. The fear of losing people. The fear of losing those who matter. Every person has a different way of reacting to different things ? Different way of approaching a problem ? I have been taught by a very close friend of mine to say "hello" to the problem right in the face. Be it a person, a thing, a question unsolved, a broken promise, a friend ignored or something else. Whatever it is, meet it upfront. That doesn't work always. It definitely doesn't for me. What happens then ? You figure it out :P But when it comes to people, one ought to be very careful. Very very careful. 

The only respite in the entire entire scenario is that there would be more people like you out there. More people who would think like this and a few more people who would understand all that goes on into your mind. Hold on to those. Try Always ? 

Faith in humanity ? Semi-restored.

Be careful of how others drive.

If you ever got the opportunity to drive a vehicle, or even learn how to drive one, I am pretty sure you would have heard some version of "Be wary of how others drive" a million times. Or one pet dialogue which seems pretty famous, atleast in my area, "You might be driving right, but you don't know of the other person". 

It is funny, don't you think ? You are the person behind the wheel. You are managing that 'perfect co-ordination' between the clutch, brake and accelerator. You are the person deciding which gear to shift to when, when to be at neutral and when to simply set your engine to life. And yet. You do not only need to focus on what YOU are doing, but also on what others are doing, for your sake ! 

Like really ?! Nor do you take the responsibility of all those sitting in the vehicle with you, but to ensure their (and your) utmost safety you NEED to be careful of how others drive. It is not sufficient if you have mastered the art of balancing the three ABCs (as I was recently told, Accelerator, Brake, Clutch, in that order o.O), you also need to master the art of magically knowing that there will be some idiot in a completely opposite lane wanting to come right infront of you just to back to where he came from. 

In a general way, all those people who believe "live and let live", I really don't understand how that works. We live in a society where we are supposed to be 'social animals'. So how does one manage to live on their own without really caring how the other person is living their life is something I would love to know. I don't know, even if you do try to do so follow the 'live and let live' funda, I don't know for how long would someone be able to survive on that. It's more of ignorance that I am talking about right now. A complete state of ignorance where we just don't care of what the other person is doing. That's the kind of state that I have in mind. 

As easy as it may be to live like that, it's almost impossible. 

As easy as it may be to drive like that, it's extremely difficult. 

Be careful of how others drive!

What goes around, comes around

I am a believer of karma. Not at the entire reincarnation level, but at a simple day-to-day basis. I believe that what we do comes back to us. What we think decides what happens. Too much power to self, isn't it ?
It might not happen right now, it might not happen today or day after, but it does. Eventually. I don't know how true this is, I am too young to pass any judgement on that. But I like to believe that my belief is correct.

I like to believe that there is some greater power out there keeping track of everything that's happening with you in your life and making sure that you don't end up with something unjustified.

I like to believe that we all have these little notebooks and for each moment spent in despair there is this great huge moment of ecstasy being built up just somewhere in the near future and all we need to do is to hold on for some time to reach there.

I like to believe that when things go wrong, they don't go wrong endlessly and that the wrong stops at a point to give rise to something that we have been waiting for since long.
I may be naive. I may be over optimistic. But I like to believe that my belief is correct.

^Random, sudden realisations of self and beliefs.
^^Exam week about to begin. (:P)

"Come-back"

Sometimes you don't get the right words. Sometimes you don't understand properly. Sometimes words don't seem to do justice. But sometimes you just forget. I forgot to blog. I forgot to write. The thing that I was so enthusiastic about, I forgot about that.
Can I see a reason as to why it happened ? Can I pinpoint at something ? No. I don't think so. Sometimes it just happens ? I dont know. I feel guilty enough for not posting since such a long time just cause it seems I haven't done justice to myself.
But well, no point dwelling over the must-haves or the could-haves. Like this quote I once read, "if it could have, it would have". I really don't remember when I read this or by whom it was, my apologies for the same !

There are sudden moments when there's too much to do ? Absolutely too much ? All you feel like doing is just to get into your cozy blanket, turn on the music (full volume) and just vanish somewhere ? Before today I used to wonder how and why would someone want to do something like that ? Today, I pretty much get that. I completely and totally get that feeling. If you are one of those who don't understand this feeling, wait for it. Trust me, wait for it.
And you know what's even more frustrating ? Not finding the correct songs ! Seriously ! Someone needs to help me out here. I am terribly out of songs -_-.
Anyway, this is supposed to be my "come-back-post" and instead it's turning into a bunch of sad, depressing paragraphs !

So what if there's work ? :D Haven't we been doing that ever since so long ? So what if we have a bunch of deadlines all lined up ? It's not something new now, is it ? It's almost like a way of life now. So what if once in a while you feel like letting everything be and just take a break, it's pretty much allowed, isn't it ?

Just not when there's so much to do. Just not now ;)

A little incident

I'll straight start off.

I was in the market today, walking, going somewhere, pretty much lost in my thoughts. I was wondering about some weird things, to be precise, I was wondering how exactly can one make one's own mind focus on the positive when it's only the negative that the mind seems to be attracted to. I was thinking about changes. I was thinking about how I was not able to recognize the person who I had become and how I could undo the change that I had probably brought upon myself. I was thinking about how cold I was becoming. Yeah, all those who know me and are giving this post a raised eyebrow, that's exactly what I was thinking.

Basically, I wasn't really in the best possible mood. 

I was looking around, not exactly taking in the surroundings but just looking for the sake of being cautious on Delhi roads. That's when I noticed a woman and a little girl standing on the same side of the road. The girl must have been around four-five years old and the woman must have been her grandmother. The woman was holding the girl's hand and was looking down at something she was trying to do. Now remember, this is West Delhi market we are talking about, you can't simply stand in the middle of a path, not when there are so many people with so much important stuff to do in their lives who are continuously rushing about because they don't have even a second to spare. Or so they assume their lives to be ;)

Anyway, as soon as I reached closer, I realised that the little girl was trying to get her foot into her slipper which seemed to be facing the other side and she wasn't able to get it to rotate and nor was she able to turn around and face the slipper in the right direction because her grandmother was clutching her hand so tightly. Like the five other people before me, I saw the duo, respectfully said "excuse me " and went ahead. 

I had just walked three steps when I turned around, the kid still hadn't figured out a way to get her foot in that slipper, I stared for five seconds, thought "oh ho ", took three steps, rotated the slipper so that she could finally get her foot in it, smiled at the sudden shining face of the girl, gave a light pat on her cheek, heard a very happy "thank you beta " from the woman and turned back on my way.

It was nothing, right ? Still it left me smiling from ear to ear. It was just a little something that made me feel I'm not really that changed a person.

Sometimes, the tiniest of things leave a big impact. This was just another of those little incidents ;)

The Raaaaiiiinnn :D

Your surroundings play a VERY important role in the kind of mood that you are in. The people you are around, the atmosphere, the type of sounds you hear !

Bah. I am just trying to get a philosophical insight as to why the rain brings me so much happiness ! Not just me, I know such other people as well ;) So in case you are one of those who cringe at the term 'rain', only imagine muddy, disgusting water and fast speeding cars splashing that very water on your neatly ironed clothes, I beg you to not read further :P 

There is something enigmatic about rain. Something that I will never be able to understand and probably not want to either cause that would just spoil the entire fun of it ! Makes sense ? It's okay. That's what rain does to me ;)

I'm not even talking about getting wet in the rain. I am just talking about the kind of atmosphere that is created during and after the showers. It's almost like your World seems filled with clarity. Sounds mad, but if you are that fanatic about rains, you are bound to get what I am saying :D

It's when you feel that breeze on your face, smell the fragrance of wet mud, watch drops of water falling from the sky above, that's when you realize how beautiful everything actually is. Sometimes when nothing seems to be going your way, nature steps in to remind you of how perfect some things in your life are. Rain is just it's way of asking you to see things with a different perspective, to lighten up your mood and see things with more clarity ;)

Rains are beautiful. They make life seem bliss. 

How? Why? When? Where? 

I don't know but some things are best left just the way they are and if they bring you tons of happiness, you better hope they remain just the same always ! :D

When things go wrong, pray for rain. Seriously ;)

Doing the right thing

Don't we spend exceedingly large amount of time wondering about all the right things to do ?
We decide, we choose, always just hoping that what we're doing is the right thing. I got up from my sleep thinking about all this. Yeah, I even sat down to write :P
I don't know, but most of the time we see things as black or white. It's either right or wrong, this or that, here or there. But that's not how things are in reality, is it ? There is gray matter. There is loads of gray matter. All it needs is a bit of understanding and perspective to look at that gray material.
We try our level best to never be wrong, but what is it that means to be right ?
Doesn't sometimes being right constitute doing something for yourself, not thinking about what the World thinks of our decisions ? As in, we question people who do things for themselves without giving a single thought to the people around them, I question their credibility, but then that is what they feel is right for them, isn't it ? Aren't we all entitled to taking certain decisions, certain rare, out of the blue decisions that are right for us regardless of what anyone else might say or think ?
I have selfless people around me, loads of them, people who always think of others, who take calculated steps to ensure no one gets hurt. I don't know where I am getting with all this. There is this thing in my mind that desperately wants to come out but I am just not able to find the appropriate words to say the same. The thing I'm trying to say is the fact that sometimes what's right is what we want to do. Regardless of whatever happened with us, whatever circumstances came upon us, whatever other people said or did. Sometimes, the right thing is to do what we want to and proceed with it. The opportunities that we get today, we may never get another day. Leaving those cause of a bunch of people who know no better than to pull you down wouldn't be beneficial for anyone. Neither you. Nor them.

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that ." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Somewhere, somehow the above quote makes a lot of sense with what I am trying to say. When the correct thing to do is to be the light but everyone expects you to join in the dark, it's only right to be that light. It's not too often that you find something to do with your complete heart and soul, I'm not at all talking about huge decisions like choosing a career or getting married, but sometimes there are some little things that you know you want to do, it's only right to do them then.

Change

"The only thing that is constant is change. " - Heraclitus

Nothing is ever really constant in our life. People, thoughts, our list of favourite things, obsession with a particular colour, most viewed sit-com, hobbies, the list can go on. From the simplest to the most complex, nothing is ever really the same.
Yet, we try to fight change all the time. We try so hard to keep things just the way they were that we end up reducing the space for growth.
We expect our friends to be the same, to laugh at the same jokes, to receive us in the same manner, to console us in the same way as they used to and if we are lucky, we find them to be the same just for a little more while.
People who have closely seen us grow expect us to be the same, to behave and speak in the way we used to, to pay attention to those matters that we used to, to laugh, smile and be jolly just the way we used to when we were kids. Yet again, if we are lucky, we manage to keep them happy for some more time by being just the way we were, by being kids.
As much as we like to think that we follow a regular routine and nothing changes, everyday something changes bit by bit. There is something new that comes up in our life with each morning sun, some new commitment, a deadline, a project, reading material, e-mails and what not. Even the toothpaste tube we use requires a change every month !
Yet, we try to fight change all the time. Probably because it's only human to be comfortable and hope to remain comfortable always, but the truth is that if nothing changes, it is a sign of stillness and that's not what life is.
Life is movement.
Life is activity.
Life is change.   
Most importantly, life is acceptance of the changes that we like and working towards changing those we don't. ;)