Realisations, Birthday, Acceptance :D

I'm sitting and writing a post long due. Long long long due. But finally I have come to write it and hopefully would even complete the same ;)
There are so many things that I want to make note of, share with you, but I'm not sure in what light they will be taken. That's the first learning for me, whatever you say or do, those who have to take you in the wrong, will ;) So start being chill. Those who want to understand will find a way to and those who want to hold you responsible for utterly ridiculous stuff will do so anyway. So chill.
Continuing with the same, the people who want to be there, will. The people who want to care, will. After a point we should stop trying. We should stop trying to get that person back into our lives, if it mattered, they will be back. I'm not saying break off all relations and create a wall just to see who manages to climb it. No. What I am saying is that if you have tried enough to save a relationship, it's time you stop. And trust me, you'll know. You'll know when you can't do anymore, don't kill yourself at that time. Cause each one of us is different and each one of us react in a different way to various things. If people cared, they'll find a way back.
We have such a short time here. Such a short time. I had such amazing fun on my birthday and the only thought that was in my mind at the end of the day was, "Why am I not this happy everyday? ".
I've recently come to realise that this blog of mine has started becoming melancholic. Probably because I have started becoming like that. But not anymore ;) This birthday taught me a number of things. All of which have just pushed me to just let things go. To just thank people for the slightest of things that they do, they don't owe me anything, do they?
Even a minute spared by someone to wish me is a big deal. It is. It truly is.
I feel happy after this birthday. I feel free. I feel light. 
I think we should stop forcing people to do things. Especially for celebrations. It's a celebration! If someone wants to be a part of it, they'll say, else you'll know ;)

It's just that it's so easy to say all this, so easy to feel all this for two days, but this time this feeling is here to stay. It's time to be happy with oneself and even if a single person cares, it's time to cherish that ;)

It's time to take control. It's time to get things in place. It's time to get yourself in place. It's time to let go of all the negative and it's time to smile bright :D

Thank You for making my birthday so amazing. Thank you so much :D

Don't jump right into it.

I have never talked about anything "technical" here till now. But today, right now, I NEED to.
I have to tell you, never jump right into it :P Never ever. You are given a problem and you directly jump into it and start coding ? Bad idea.
I have heard a number of people tell me this, but you don't learn till you experience, right ? Dont do that :P
The immeasurable happiness you feel upon completing something really quick is one side, and the level of frustration you feel when your realise you made the smallest error possible is indescribable.
Think through the stuff. Think it through properly. It's not gonna make sense right now, it never did to me either, but once you experience it ( I hope you don't, you'll understand everything :P ).

There is nowhere where this post is going :P Absolutely none :P
Oh, and if by chance you are working in the Pattern Recognition field, which requires training and testing samples, my humble request, please look at the data carefully. Those sincere looking bunch of bits will make your life hell in a second and you wouldn't even realise it! You'll just be left cursing yourself as to why you didn't pay "attention to detail" before.

Think it through :P

I need to go back to fixing the stuff I have "hurriedly" messed up now. \:D/

We're all in this together.

Hello !
I've been travelling in the metro since the past ten days or so, during the Office hours to reach my internship location. It takes around an hour just in the metro itself. Now, during the initial days, I had all sorts of things in my mind, "Why am "I" doing this ?", "Why is life so competitive ? " and God knows what not. I mean, there were quite a number of things in my mind on the same lines. It's not like a sudden epiphany or something, but within three four days, I started seeing familiar faces. That woman who would sit and watch movies on her Samsung Tab ( who would be in the metro when I would get on, meaning it takes her even longer to reach her destination ), that group of three women who would enter the metro together and NO ONE would be spared of the observation that someone new has come in ( :P ), that old lady who carries her laptop with her and refuses to sit when someone especially gets up and offers a seat to her. The pair of friends, one of whom has recently gotten married and is often applauded by the other one for managing both house and office work. All these people, and so many more. I am sure if I be a tiny bit more observant, I will get to know about many more such people. All regular people, getting up at 7 in the morning to catch the 7:40 metro, so that they reach their offices by 9. All of them have the same story. Broadly, all of them are the commuters of the 7:40 metro.
Sometimes we feel, that it is impossible for someone else to understand what's happening. We give petty issues so much importance, so much importance that it seems like nothing worse could have happened. That day, I was going to board the metro and the escalator was not working. Early morning no escalator. And immediately what do I say to myself ? "Oh God, that's the worst thing that can happen, taking the stairs early in the morning", and within half a minute, I am laughing at my own stupidity ( The security guard checking me that day surely thought something was fishy seeing the goofy eyed expression on my face ). I don't know whether you do this or not, but I do and I have started consciously keeping a check now :P
My point was, we feel it's impossible for someone else to understand what's happening. You know what ? We all are going through our own battles. We all are just so same. I don't know, it's like things have started making sense all of a sudden :P No, I haven't lost it and probably this clarity won't even last for long because seriously speaking it's too difficult to look for logic in this haphazard, ever-so-fast, competitive World anymore.
It's just that, there is this quote from the book P.S I Love You by Cecelia Ahern, if you haven't read the book, I request you to read it, if nothing else then just for this quote :P I read this around six years back and loved it right then, just yesterday I re-read it and suddenly it seemed absolutely perfect. Here's what it is:
"The thing to remember is, even if we are all alone, we are together in that too."
It just brings some sense of peace to realise that you are not alone. You have someone with you, you don't have to do it all alone. Look around, there will be someone, someone fighting a battle similar to yours and if that's not the case, then everyone is together in being alone as well ;)
It's just beautiful.

Stop running away.

Stop running away from your insecurities.
Stop running away from your fears.
Stop running away from the hardships.
Stop running away from your tears.

Start facing the truth.
Start searching for facts.
Start expressing yourself.
Start pulling together your act.

Stop being rude.
Stop being cold.
Stop being dis-heartened.
Stop putting a hold.

Stop lying.
Stop assuming.
Start trying.
Start thinking.

Start smiling more.

Start being there.

Start spreading love.

Start showing you care.

Start accepting errors.
Start amending mistakes.
Start extending your sunshine.
Start living again.

Start experiencing everything around.
Stop running away from life.

Start living openly again.

Start experiencing life.

Put on your Superman robes

Exam-time is just around the corner. What scares me more than the exams are the project deadlines :P It's interesting, as soon as you get into the third year in IIIT-Delhi, exams lose their importance and projects become the all-important of many courses. It is a great thing owing to the kind of hands-on experience it provides, the experience it leaves us with, but then of course, the work is also there :P

Anyway, so I was just thinking of all the exam-times which I have spent in this Institute, that is whatever I could remember. The only thing that I can remember from the first year, is the NSIT labs, staying back after some exam to sit together and study. Also, the late night calls to people in the hope of understanding stuff which makes sense only at 2 A.M in the night. Studying together on Gtalk, on group chats, "Kab tak jaag rahe ho ? Yaar mujhe 10 minute main call kar ke jagah dena. ". Amazing. Amazing time that was. I can only smile whenever I think of those times. The same can be said for the second year I believe. Till the time we did not have electives and most of the courses were same, such was the state at the time of End-Sems. The calls lessened as we took the Hostels, but well that part is for another post. I don's think I would have made it through those five end-sems without the kind of people that were there then :P

And then, the last semester! The only thing that I remember of the last sem, first sem of the third year, are the PROJECTS! I dont remember sitting together solving problems, discussing solutions to questions or anything along those lines, but what I do remember are projects and that too loads of work just towards the end of the semester.

Where am I getting to ? We are entering that crazy-no-sleep-too-many-projects phase of our semester. It's just like ten days till the end of the sem and it's time to put on your Superman robes. It's time to get into the oh-I-am-so-crazy mode and start working like that's the only thing left in life :P
It's not something that we can't do, for sure. We have done it before, we can do it again. We just need those robes ;) And everyone, mind it, everyone has their own set of personal Superman robes.  We just sometimes tend to forget to put them on, or forget where we placed them after last using them.

Get them out. Dust them. Put them on. Get working \:D/

It's not fair.

It is absolutely not fair.
It is just not fair.
It is not justifiable nor is it explainable.
It just doesn't make sense!

In this World, there is a lot of sleep as well as work! No! One of the two should be present. At least at one particular time!

We should be able to enjoy both of them, isn't it ? But this way, we get to enjoy none of the two! One gets sacrificed because of the other ALWAYS!
If you think of completing all the work, you are bound to lose your "beauty sleep", if you plan to sleep peacefully then there is no way that you can complete the work. Oh, when I am talking about work, I am talking about work of the IIIT-Delhi level. Work which guarantees to make you eligible for the "Busy Bee" badge on Backpack atleast twice in twenty days :P

For the record, I am not cribbing about workload or something, I am just stating the fact that both of them co-existing is not fair though there isn't much that can be done about it either.

So anyway, point being:
- I have work
- I want to sleep
- It's not fair

:P

Work work work work work work work \:D/

"Chanda ki paalki mein dil ki muraad layi

Jannat ka noor leke mehndi ki raat aayi"

No. The above two lines have no reference to absolutely anything! Nothing at all! Just the lyrics of some random song being played over and over and over and over and over. 

THERE IS SO MUCH WORK.

There. I said it \:D/

It's almost like work is like these small little balloons filled with water(reference: Holi) and you are being pelted from every possible direction. And the best part is ? You are in this open field with absolutely NO place to hide \:D/

Wonderful, isn't it ? 

It begins like this, initially it comes as a shock and you try to duck, dodge, deal with the balloons, after sometime, you even start enjoying the entire act of being pelted from each direction. However, after all this, there comes a moment when you are just like, ENOUGH. Either you decide to do something of the ongoing attack or you just become immune to them. 

I have NO IDEA what I want to say. 

I am tired. Exhausted \:D/

Currently, even funny :P

Okay, that's it.

Kthx for reading, it made no difference at all \:D/ 

"Yaar tu hassti nahi hai "

When someone who has just been an acquaintance to you, comes up to you and says "yaar tu hassti nahi hai", it's like a wake up call for you. 

It's time to think of what it is that is going wrong and where. Knowing myself, this would be the last line that I would want someone to come and say to me, but nonetheleses I am more than grateful for the person to be frank enough with me. He probably did not realize what an effect his one single line had on me. 

I could probably name a number of things in my defense right now and say, this this this this this is what is making me like that. The point being, is it worth it ? 

Anything, absolutely anything, is it worth taking away your sunshine ? People would argue and even I would agree that certain things tend to have an enormous impact upon you, whether you like it or not. Till the time that impact is not ever lasting, it's healthy. It's proof that you are human. But letting something break you completely that you are not able to focus on anything other than that is definitely not a good sign. And if you are anywhere close to the kinds who love(s/d) laughing, spreading smiles and then someone comes up to you and says the above line, that's definitely a horrible sign. 

We have work. We all have work. We will always have work. That is one fact that I have just come to terms with. We will also have days. Days when we just feel like rolling into a blanket and not getting out and those days might even stretch for more than a "few days". You will eventually get out of these, probably even feeling silly for being there at the first place. But if there is someone around you who is having such a time, give them space. Give them time. No one loves being unhappy. No one loves not laughing. Sometimes, it's just about that one extra bit of understanding. Sometimes it's just about that one extra bit of patience. 

There was this anonymous quote which goes like "A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're at home". Probably nothing great about the quote, but just makes me smile, it just goes through you in a weirdly warm way. 

As for the issue of me being perpetually glum, here's to laughing more often ;) :P

Being Rude.

It's an easy way out, isn't it ? Being rude ? 

You don't like something ? Be rude.

You don't like someone ? Be rude.

You disagree with something ? Be rude. 

Oh and the most favourite. You want to escape something ? Be rude. 

No, I don't have a problem with people being rude. I have a problem with people being rude and not realizing the same. I have a problem with those being rude, realizing it, but not doing anything to rectify it. I have a serious problem with those. And as it seems, the problem just seems to increase. I should probably try to do something about it. It's not my headache how people behave, is it ? It is a reflection of who they are and the kind of lives they live. Isn't it ? No.

It's not that simple. Never is. Atleast I don't think so. If you do, then let me know as well. How not to let people's behavior affect you, is something that I need to learn desperately. You don't always meet like-minded people, do you ? Rare chance. 

We live in a perpetual state of rat-race. We are perpetually running, competing, fighting, arguing, grabbing opportunities. What we don't realize is that in all this rush, we are being rude. And the best part ? Not realizing the same.

Here's a shout out to all those to whom I have ever been rude, intentionally or unintentionally, I apologise. Genuinely. 

I think it's high time we sit for two minutes (let's leave that Facebook tab for just two minutes) and just think whether who you are is exactly who you wanted to become. Just think about those times when you have given someone a cold shoulder for no reason whatsoever. And the best part ? Forgot to accept that fact either. 

It might not matter to you. One curt reply. One rude remark. It might just be making someone completely miserable. We don't know the battles the other person is facing, if we cant make them any better, let's not try to make them any worse either.

Untitled - II

"The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their bones;"
-Shakespeare

It takes years to build trust. It takes years for a relationship to nurture. But you do one thing wrong. And BAM! It's all gone. Or even a wrong intent. Why even an intent ? Even a mis-interpreted signal can make everything blow off in a minute. Everything, as much as you might have ever worked in a relationship. One wrong step and it's all gone.

I wonder why. I genuinely wonder why. Are such relationships not the kind that are meant to last ? I have seen friendships of really long time crumble into pieces just because one person did something wrong once. And these are not some general acquaintances or the regular "hi-bye types" friendships that I am talking about here. I am talking about serious, solid relationships. Doesn't all this make everything seem futile ? I mean, whatever, whatever you might do, if one wrong step ruins everything, then I don't see point in anything at all. 

Faith in humanity ? Gone.

But well, like (almost) every post, we can't really just focus on the negative now, can we ? Somewhere amidst those broken relations are the one which really count. The ones which really matter. I don't know whether they are meant to last till 'forever' or whether they will be able to 'stand the test of time' but what I do know is that these are the relations which we have for NOW. Life would probably be way more worse had it not been for these few bunch of people. There's just this slight fear in me sometimes. The fear of losing people. The fear of losing those who matter. Every person has a different way of reacting to different things ? Different way of approaching a problem ? I have been taught by a very close friend of mine to say "hello" to the problem right in the face. Be it a person, a thing, a question unsolved, a broken promise, a friend ignored or something else. Whatever it is, meet it upfront. That doesn't work always. It definitely doesn't for me. What happens then ? You figure it out :P But when it comes to people, one ought to be very careful. Very very careful. 

The only respite in the entire entire scenario is that there would be more people like you out there. More people who would think like this and a few more people who would understand all that goes on into your mind. Hold on to those. Try Always ? 

Faith in humanity ? Semi-restored.