The angels we call "Friends"

There have been so many things going on and running through my mind since the past week that whenever I sat down to write something, words just didn't seem to form the right sentences ! I have been trying to clear off all that clutter so as to come up with a theme for this post, but it just wasn't happening. That's when I realized I was looking at the wrong things. I was just focusing on what I shouldn't have been. Instead of finding solutions, I was just stuck staring at the problems. Aah no, nothing has happened. Just the normal day-to-day stuff which sometimes becomes too much to handle and tends to blow you off the handle.

All this sounds too melodramatic, doesn't it ?
It did to me as well, and that is when I started thinking the other way round. I realized it's kinda lucky of me to have things related to other people bothering me up because that means some people find me worthy enough to share with me what's bothering them, to have some expectations of me and perceive me to be close enough to tick me off when I am not able to fulfill them, to get mad at me when I do not contact them over a long period of time and most importantly to get onto my nerves when I've done something wrong according to them. Yeah, these are the little angels we call "Friends".
What an important role these guys play in my life, I cannot even begin to elaborate. It's almost like for each friend that one ever makes during the entire course of their life, there is a small part of them that one carries along with themselves always. It's there hidden somewhere, probably in the way you pronounce a word, hug people, laugh, smile, meet someone or maybe your most frequently used exclamation might just be inspired from them ! Regardless of where this person might be, how often you might talk, there is this habit of yours that will forever remind you of them.

That's why I don't get started off on the topic of these species called "Friends" cause I suddenly get overwhelmed with feelings and tend to start blabbering off anything and everything!
Anyway, the point that I was trying to make was that there are people in this world who will trouble you, drive you crazy, expect stuff from you, shout on you, maintain a low profile just to check if you still care enough for them, probably give you a fifty calls just cause you didn't return the first one and they concluded that something is wrong, drive you insane over a small thing,badger you throughout your life for something they think you ought to do. And you know what ? You ought to do just the same. Cause at the end of the day its the people who you can call up at four in the morning that matter.
Yeah, they might do all this and so much more. But the point that we all forget, or atleast I do, is that these are the people who have been there with us through the thick and thin. These are the people who see us grow up and accept us just the way we are. They bear with us at our worst and get crazy with us at our best.
These angels are there in our lives to help us through those times when we think we wouldn't be able to make it through. Confiding into a loved one, having a silent conversation once in awhile and sharing your heart's deepest and darkest secrets doesn't really burden the other person, but just makes them feel glad to be there for you in that single moment of confusion which you might have passed on your own as well but having a dear one to rely on doesn't really make things worse ever.
    
So here's a big thanks from me to all those people out there who made me the person I am, to those who never really gave up on me and especially to those who never really forgot their right on me when I might have forgotten mine on them. It's an eye-opener for me when I say this that despite all the arguments, misunderstandings, we ought to be more than glad to have such people, who want to be there with us in this journey of our lives.

I am angry.

Today I am compelling myself to think rationally about the things that happen around us, the people that we surround ourselves with, the situations that we find ourselves to be stuck in and most importantly of my own self.
I really don't know what is it that I plan to write today, cause I am angry. Yes, I am very angry today. At myself. At some situations. At some people. Oh yes, angry.

I am angry at the kind of lives that we are living today, which doesn't not even allow us to sit peacefully for five minutes.
I am angry at the amount of work that is expected to be done from us, which just keeps getting piled up day by day.
I am angry at all those people who fail to understand the fact that the kind of era that they live in, the kind of surroundings they find themselves to be in, we live in the same. If they don't have time, nor do we.
I am angry at all those people who just expect. Yeah, just expect and do nothing in return. Yeah, there exists people like that too.
I am angry at those who take up the responsibility of doing some work and then very conveniently forget about it.
I am angry at those who do not realize their importance in others' lives.
I am angry at the people who do not understand the impact that their actions would have on others.

I am not talking about large things, the Government, politics, running of the country etc. etc. Aah no, I am not mad at them. They have too much on their plate already to have another person being angry at the work they do.

It is such an amusing thing. I write about something that makes one happy and makes life worthwhile, and the next few days show me what happens in its absence. Yeah, those little things that I talked about ?
It's little things that are making me mad today. Things which probably in the bigger picture wouldn't even matter ! But then again, it's always been the little things that are worth noticing which make up who we are. I have never really been able to express myself when I am angry. I just end up laughing and that is precisely what I find myself doing right now. That's just what happens ! And then one forgets what was it that made them angry at the first place.

But no, not this time, because most importantly, I am angry at myself. Cause whatever it is that I have written above, I find it in myself too.


"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living, the world owes you nothing ! It was here first. " - Mark Twain

What If

Sometimes I wonder

What if my schooling would have been from someplace else ?
What if it wasn't for the change of branch in second grade that ensured the continued support of the friend that I made then when I probably didn't even understand the true meaning of that six letter word ?
What if in the eventful shuffling of sixth grade I had got separated from that friend who has made sure that all the memories of school that I have only make me smile ?
What if it wasn't for that same shuffling that brought me back with the girl who I remembered as my "first friend" in school ?
What if after the ninth grade shuffling I hadn't found myself amidst completely unknown people, some of who would end up being unimaginable special parts of my life but had found myself with a previously known group of friends ?
What if I hadn't taken up Computers in eleventh grade and met the friend whose mere presence, like I said previously, guarantees four amazing years in college ?

What if I hadn't chosen the college I am currently in ?
What if on the day of the orientation of my college I hadn't gone specifically into the second classroom and sat alongside the person who I can now proudly call my "first college friend" ?
What if I had never laughed along with that girl who was just so busy with her phone the entire time during that day ?
What if the girl who came on the first official day of college had not decided to come and sit next to us but rather beside someone else sitting right in front of the room ?

What if I just hadn't heard the girls behind me shouting my name and hadn't shifted just slightly while walking on the road and thereby prevented myself from getting knocked off by a high speeding bus ?
Yes, so many what ifs. Trust me, I can go on. If you think carefully about where you are and what you're doing right now, I'm sure even you can. You don't really need to know each and every detail of my life to relate to what I have just stated above. I am sure you can easily draw a parallel with your life of almost the same instances.
Its just so funny how some things work out ! Things that seem to be making completely no sense at the present moment might turn out to be the biggest boon of your life!

I have always had my doubts regarding "Fate" or "Destiny", I never really can understand that if it has already been written what is to happen, then whats the significance behind our normal day-to-day lives, the little decisions we make, the chances we take, the cross-roads that we often find ourselves to be at.
I never really understood all this, nor do I think I ever will.

But maybe, just maybe, its like the canvas has been sketched for you, it's upto you how you paint it.
Maybe its been decided you'll end up doing Engineering, it's just in your hands to decide the college you'll end up in.
Maybe it's been written the people you would meet, but upto you to decide how they would influence you in your life.
Maybe the bigger picture has already been created, its just upto you to fill in the details ;)

Little Things That Matter Much

I remember having two pages of our "School Diary" being dedicated to this heading. Yes, these two pages were utilized for reporting complaints like "napkin not brought", "nails not cut" etc. Little things, that hardly take up five minutes of our day but would still not be done, were brought to notice of our parents.
Just a few hours back I realized how much doing little things that might seem insignificant to us can make a huge difference in someone else's life.

A month back I had got the opportunity to work with the kids at Parichay, an NGO located in East Delhi district of New Delhi. It has been exactly one month since I left that community and despite promising the kids to be in touch with them, I have been able to visit them just once till now. One can argue that I have been constantly in touch with them via mobile phones, but the sense of happiness achieved upon going and meeting them personally can never be the same. It has been on my mind since the past week that I need to visit them again ! I wanted to ! But somehow things just didn't seem to be working out until the fruitful evening of today when we were finally able to chalk out a plan ! Yes, we are going to meet the kids tomorrow. When I called them to tell them of this news that they had been eagerly waiting for, it almost seemed like the excitement somehow got transferred via the phone ! They were so happy ! So delighted ! I could almost picture all of them beaming from ear to ear. And trust me, just hearing the kids getting this excited got me to cloud nine !
I never promised those kids any material gifts, it was just a simple gesture of going and meeting them and this got them to be so happy ! Its not even a gesture yet, its just a thought in process !
Yes, all of this got me thinking, there are so many little things in life that we can do for others which can brighten up their day, little things that we take for granted that are planted especially in our path of normal days to make them extra special.

An innocent smile, a small hug, an encouraging pat, a grateful note, a heart-felt letter, a five minute call to someone who feels forgotten, a mail written to someone far away, an out-of-the blue text, little things that may take up just ten minutes of our day may become the reason for someone's smile for an entire week.

Its a little basic fact of life that everyone here in this large Universe is beautiful and it just takes little ignorance for one to forget this and just a little effort by a little someone to remind them of the same :) .

The Year that Was

It might seem like an offbeat topic to start a personal blog with, but the reason why I am actually writing and posting this is because of all that happened this past year. Trust me, there wouldn't be any better way to get started with this blog .

The past year had so much to teach me, owing to the fact that it was the "transition year" of my life, when we were supposed to leave the comfort zones of our schools and enter a completely new,different and unknown phase of our lives. As cliched as the previous sentence might have sounded, it is completely true !
It is one thing to sit in the comfortable classrooms under the extensive care and guidance of your high school teachers and hear them talk of all the difficulties that one might face in the years ahead and a completely different thing to find yourself amidst all those difficulties with just a person or two by your side.

Aah no, I am not trying to scare anyone off ! These are just the bag of emotions that I feel when I think of what all we were going through during this time, just an year back. The feeling of graduating from the place we called "home" for fourteen years of our lives hasn't even sunk in yet and we're already running the rat-race of securing ourselves a seat in a college which would soon become our life for the coming few years.
Entrances, exams, tensions, results, excitements, counselling, insomnia, confusions, what have we not gone through during this "transition period" !

However, all of this seems completely justified when finally you get accepted by a college which seems great (maybe not initially, but later definitely !) pursuing a course of your choice. For me, the happiness was doubled to have with me a dear friend, a source of strength, someone whose mere presence ensures that despite the difficulties, the coming four years would be completely amazing.

When I try to remember the happenings of the past year, I just can't seem to remember much except the initial week of college ! The anxiety and excitement of meeting new people, getting used to a new atmosphere and most importantly the new schedule which needed to be followed.
Yes, IIITD was what had happened. Yes, it is one of the best things to have happened to me ! Not only did it bring with itself truckloads of work and deadlines but also enriched my life with some absolutely amazing people, people who make me wonder how my life seemed complete prior to the past year.

The year brought me the realization that regardless of whatever people might say about "friends after school", those who are meant to be, you'll still find them by your side.
Seen in retrospect, everything that happened then, makes complete sense now. If nothing else, I now know that whatever happens, happens for a reason.

Just give time a chance. Let the bigger picture unfold.