Losing Yourself

And then as one sits, thoughts are immense,
Feelings are great.. confusion hence,
The way things are, seem out of control,
There isn't any path nor the presence of a goal,
Its all about rushing, we all seem at pace,
In the end there's no winner, to this rat race.

But still it seems like the thing to do,
Lost in time,you have no clue.
You're moving too fast, its time you slow !
Live each moment, don't just with time you flow !
What you are today, is what you wanted once,
Regrets..sorrow..there's nothing such !
What you do now,will shape things to be,
How that turns out,is for you to see.
Work should make you happy! It gives life purpose,
Start smiling now! Would be worth the effort.

There's no point thinking what could have been,
It's time to create your future, cause that's yet to be seen,
Cause each day is as new,as it seems just the same,
Cause its time to start afresh, its time to spark a change .
Don't lose yourself in the duration of time
Its the only thing, that'll always be thine !

Untitled

Alright.

So I have this term paper due at 9 tomorrow morning. I am sitting in my college Cafe and instead of completing the report, I am busy typing this out. 

I don't really know what is it that instigated me to start this ! It happens all the time, you know ? There are ALWAYS so many things that I plan to write about, that I think of writing , but I always end up writing something completely different ! Something completely unaccounted for, something that I had never 'planned' to write about ;)

But then that's just the way things work, isn't it ? Things don't always work as per our plans? Don't always, but they do often as well ;) Now I hadn't really planned that I would sit and type this out here in college when I have work dancing around my head. But then, you never really can foresee the effects of a walk in the Winter evening around your own college campus, can you ?

What I was thinking of, what I was wondering about was something about satisfaction. I mean, there are so many things that are there in my mind which are completely unconnected but they all just seem to make sense in a weird possible way.

We people change. We change so much. Our language changes, our dressing style changes, its probably our deeply founded value system that does not change, but we keep changing. Every day, every second.

Change is the only constant, isn't it ? Seriously, think about it, the person you were yesterday, you aren't today. That word you were using the entire past week ? It's not even on your mind now! The things that didn't let you sleep for the past few days, you've probably overcome some of them by now. Don't these things make us stronger ? Overcoming failures ? Overcoming our own fears ? Why do we get scared ? What do we get scared of ? I mean, think about it. We get scared of things not working out in the way expected, we get scared that people might not behave in the way we expect them to, we get scared thinking of what the future holds for us and whether or not it would stand up to our expectations. Expectations ! Ooolaa ! Too hot to handle ! 

But then again, it's human to expect isn't it ? It's human to imagine the way the future might be, and it's human to expect some people to be there by your side always.

Now , from where did this come from ? I was talking of satisfaction ! See ? Now you might not be able to get the link here, but I can clearly see it. It's when you accept your expectations and when you accept your reality that you are satisfied. Oh yes ! That's just the way it works ;) Things may or may not go as per your plan, as per what you expected things to be. But then, just that fact that you are here, and you have the ability to crib over the fact that things did not go as per how you wanted them to, ought to make you super happy ;) 

You know what I'm saying ? Cause it means that you still have it in you to not accept the way things have turned out to be but rather put your best foot forward and make things the way you want them to be. Oh yeah, drifting away again from the topic now, aren't we ? But it's all interconnected. All of it. 

Expectations, Reality, Satisfaction.

And it's that immense satisfaction that I am feeling right now ! Which I can't even understand why and how! 

I guess I am just in a playful mood, cause when the clock is ticking away and giving me a sly look pointing towards the fact that I might just not be able to complete my paper, I am sticking my tongue out towards it and accepting the open challenge posed by it towards me ;)

Makes Sense ? I don't think it does either ;)

Being Happy

'Happiness' is a relative term. "Being happy" further so.
I think how most of us perceive happiness these days, its more of a state of being 'un-unhappy'. When we see we don't have anything to be unhappy about, we claim ourselves to be happy. That's kind of funny, isn't it ? I mean, shouldn't it be the other way round ?
What is happiness ? What does it mean to be truly happy ? Never really while we were kids, were we taught the meaning of "being happy", nor did our parents or teachers sit with us at length for hours to explain us the importance of this five letter word. I doubt either of us has ever really looked up it's definition in a dictionary, unless of course it's meant to be quoted in some formal essay required by some institution !
I think the reason why we weren't spoon-fed the same was cause it was left to us to give this term our very own definition.
Happiness is relative. For a five year old, getting new crayons or a big box of chocolates is happiness (the later would be a major source of happiness for some of us even still though ;)), being praised by the teacher in school in front of the entire class by a teacher might be the source of happiness for a seven or eight year old. A person studying for her board exams might feel immense happiness upon completely the syllabus prior to the expected time maybe. But as and when I start moving up the ladder of age, I start finding it hard to quote such examples of happiness for people. What would an engineer be happy about ? Completing his job successfully ? Going back home after a tiring day of work to find home cooked food and a smiling family in anticipation of his return maybe? But then again, that would be true for all those people who spend the day working, and not just for Engineers specifically! What would a student be happy about? Getting marks ? Attending all lectures one fine day thereby completing a dare set for him by his fellow mates ? Or maybe not attending even a single lecture and partying the entire day ?
It's relative. All of it is too relative. What happiness is to me might be boring to you. What brings happiness to you might not be of that much value to someone else. Best example ? Try asking a sadist what is the happiest moment of his life and you would probably get what I am trying to say.
We always try to generalize things, people. Mammal,homosapien,girl,boy,child,adult, married, single and so on. But happiness? We can't categorize happiness as per any such criterion.
Happiness is not perfection. There would be too less of it in the World then. 
Happiness is being satisfied. Not completely satisfied maybe, since humans have a tendency of not reaching that stage ever, but rather the acceptance of certain things in our life and believing in the fact that they are probably the best for us given the current circumstances.
It is being with the people you love and cherishing those moments all throughout.  

Happiness is not what makes you laugh, rather it is that little feeling that brings a slight smile to your face and makes you look forward to the next day, even if it is in the tiniest way possible.

Think Before You Speak

The title of this post is not something new. it's not a path breaking discovery made just seconds ago. It is probably something that we grew up listening to most often. This line was, I guess, one of the founding stones of our values taught to us by our parents, grandparents, elders, everyone. 
It was for me. I believe it must have been for you as well.
Either way, we know this, there has been many quotations written about this and we keep getting ticked off for saying wrong things at wrong times because we don't think carefully before voicing our opinions. 
What is going on in my mind right now is not the fact that people speak before thinking or that people don't understand the implications of their words on the other person. What I am thinking is how people don't realize whether saying something is apt or not ! It's about how some people fail to understand the situation in which one ought to talk about certain things.
I'll make myself more clear. I am not asking people to reflect on what they are saying or not to speak their minds out. Do that ! One must do that ! One must speak out what they are feeling, what they feel like expressing. What I am saying is that there is a time for everything ! There is a situation for everything. 
I am not saying we should think about the content that we are about to voice out but rather pay more focus on the environment that we are presently in and then decide whether or not it is apt to say the same ! 
The Chinese proverb "Don't speak unless you can improve the silence" is such because of some reason. 

While we are on this topic, you know, there are even certain people who think it is completely mandatory, absolutely essential for you to know their experience-filled advices. It is a duty performed by their soul to remind others of the areas in which they might falter, give highly knowledgeable advices on how to live life right, and how the World would begin seeming a much much better place had everyone begun living the way they did. It amuses me to think how such people always seem to have an opinion about anything and everything, how they can criticize people so easily and how they feel immensely satisfied performing the task of the IKnowWhatsRightForYou kind of a person. 
Approaching someone and listening to something sensible being said in response to something expressed by you is one thing, and having someone come up to you without having the complete knowledge of the happenings of your life and listen to things that seem right according to them is a completely different thing.
As much as I like both, I would prefer the first one anyday ;)

Yeah, think before you speak. Everyone might not be interested in everything you say all the time.

Priorities

Priorities play an important role in our life, in our day to day "functioning", in our daily choices and the decisions we take to spend our time accomplishing a particular task. 
What's amusing is that we don't only prioritize work, we also prioritize people. We prioritize almost everything. Every single act of ours showcases our priorities of life. 

What is priority ? Isn't it simply giving one thing more importance over the other ? Priorities change. They change not only over a long period of time, but also over a short span of even two hours. 
I know certain people (one with whom I've even had a conversation regarding all this ) who don't believe in this philosophy of priorities. But then we have the concept of time, right ?
A famous quote of Albert Einstein goes "The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once ". If everything doesn't happen at once,okay, hang on. First of all, most of the times things don't just magically "happen", things have to be made to happen. There is a great deal of molecular movement that is behind each and every action of our day to day lives and all those actions don't just "happen", we make them happen. 
The point I was making ? We don't just make everything happen at once. As much advanced as we might have become, as much multitasking experts that we might have evolved into, typing with one hand, eating with the other, conversing on phone via one ear and hearing music simultaneously via the other, we still CANNOT do everything at once. 
What do we do ? 
We choose. We pick. We decide. 
How do we do ?
We prioritize.

Most of the time I always have some incident, some conversation to cite, a result of which is the post that you are reading right now. But this time, I have none. I fail to understand from where this whole priority priority thing came into my mind, the only thing that might have transpired it would be the "Operating Systems" course being taught in the institute , but that is too far fetched to even give it a second thought. 
The point I am trying to bring across is, it's okay to lose track of your priorities once in a while.
It's okay to forget one assignment amidst all other tons of pending work. 
It's okay to forget to call up someone when you had an entire cloud of deadlines hovering right above your head. 
It's okay to let go off all your priorities and just calm yourself for sometime. 
What isn't right is to forget them completely. To ignore someone repeatedly. To leave a subject untouched time and again. 

I don't know how much of what I am saying is making sense. The way I have written it, it probably isn't making sense to me as well, but what I do know is that priorities play a major role in defining who you are and in defining your take towards life.

"Action expresses priorities " - Mahatma Gandhi

Lets Just

October is just about to end and I haven't even posted once this entire month. Where have I been ? Even I have no clue on that. College (read Institute), work, people, programming, C , Java, that's just all that has been keeping me busy since the past one month.

This is just gonna be a short post, it's more of a note, a note to self. 

A reminder of the fact that each day, each moment, each second comes just once. 

A reminder of the truth that this day, 23rd October 2012, is never ever gonna come back again. 

A reminder of the immense power that is bestowed upon us by the Universe to determine how we spend this day and whether or not one ends it with a big smile on their face.

A reminder that it is the subtle selective choices that we make during our day that govern the outcome of the same.

A reminder of the existence of all those people who ever touched our lives and changed us even in the slightest form possible.

A reminder of all those wonderful things and beautiful people that we often tend to take for granted. 

A reminder of the fact that time would never seem to end if one was to just worry about all the wrong things, and it would never seem enough to do all the right things. 

Let's just laugh more, worry less, love more, fret less, express more, expect less, dance more, stress less.

Let's just live more and exist less ;)

Express Yourself

This is probably the first time that I am posting two days consecutively. But well what I am writing right now has been on my mind since quite a long time and I have been meaning to pen it down or rather type it down since I don't even know when.
All of it just came back to me while I was having a conversation with one of my friends today. Some time back, before I had started this blog, someone(who used to blog then and still does) told me "Everyone should blog ! Blogging is fun ! ", and at that time I was like what is she saying ? How can everyone blog ? Writing something and publishing it on the web, it's not something that I will be able to do ever !
And today it's me saying the same words, " "Everyone should blog ! Blogging is fun!". Just to be clear, no, Google is not paying me to promote their server.

Why do we blog ? Why does anyone blog ? I guess it is just another medium to express one's thoughts and put them in front of other people. I am not saying that to express oneself, one ought to blog.
What I am saying is that most of us out there feel short of words when we try to put forward our emotions in front of someone else.
What I am saying is that we all ought to have our own way of expressing our inner most desires, feelings or that frustration that has been piling up since a long time but hasn't been able to find a medium of escape.
I am not saying go around telling the world each and everything that pops into your mind, though I am sure there are people who do that as well !
What I am saying is, try writing. Everyone has their own way of writing, of pouring out their thoughts in a rhythm that they feel comfortable in.
Am I able to convey what exactly it is that is going through my mind right now ?
Some people write, some paint, some talk, some compose poems and some just let things be. I really don't know how far that 'letting things be' attitude helps in solving things out but I do know that all the other mentioned work wonders.

I still don't know what pushed me to write all of this. But the point that I was trying to get through was that we all often get scared of expressing ourselves and saying what we really want to.
It's high time we stop doing that.

And blogging ? I think it's just a way to get to know yourself really better. No, really :)

Randomness Tending to Infinity :D

Random random random random ! 
Yes ! This is a random post ! 
Have you ever felt excited just suddenly ? Out of the blue ? Without any reason at all ?
One minute you're sitting and the other you are telling everyone how much you love them and how life seems incomplete without them ? How you suddenly begin to cherish all the good around you and seem to forget anything that causes even the slightest bit of negative vibe ? 
Oh yeah ! That's the feeling I am talking about ! 

When the only thing that seems right to do is to go on your house roof (if you have one) and sing on top of your voice ? Else you are left hoping that you had a roof and imagining yourself singing there on top of your voice ! Oh hello, hang on ! The sound quality, rhythm, beat, frequency, amplitude, phase , pitch, this that , so on, so forth, all those things just dont count ! 

This is the random mood :D Which leads you to do all sorts of random stuff, think all random thoughts and write all sorts of random things which might make the person reading what you're writing sure of the fact that the writer of the post that he/she is reading is definitely not in a state to write anything that is worthy of being read. Did I make sense ? :D I dont think so. Cause this is what I call being random ! :D
Oh wait. I read the last line again, it did make sense ! In case it didn't to you when you read it for the first time and then gave up on it simply cause you believed me when I said it was completely random, do a double check ! Read again ! It makes sense ! :D And in case it did make sense while it was being read at the first time itself, hats off to you, you Genius ! :D
Yes, I am happy. Do I have a concrete reason to be so ? No, I dont think so. I am just randomly happy :D
All I can hope is that reading whatever I wrote above has induced some amount of random excitement and happiness in you as well ! 
Come on ! Never before have I used so many emoticons together in one post ! 

So now I ought to stop ! Before I write something which once I am done being random, might make me doubt my own self ! 
Though I doubt that could ever happen ! Cause one is at their best in such random happy moods :D Try it ! :D 

Being Busy

Everything's going fine. Everything's great. All of a sudden you find yourself amidst LOADS of work. Work in probably each subject that you are studying, work expected from you by people at home and well a bit of work at the personal level as well. (We all need some time for oursleves, don't we now ? )

So what do we do with this kind of Work ? Allow it to let us to question our existence and doubt on our present situation ? Get into a somber mood because the World wants too much from us ? Or start worrying about how to meet deadlines and complete assignments ?
Been there. Done that. All of it.
What next then ? Leave all of it and sit peacefully ? Peace wouldn't really be there cause there would be a major part of your conscience pricking you knowing that you have work pending to be done but are not doing it. 
Option cancelled.
What then ? Keep worrying ? Keep wondering how things will fall in place and magically all that has to be done will be done ? Yet again, due to the absence of Ministry Of Magic or maybe their success at keeping it hidden from us all, even this is not a viable idea.
Option cancelled.

Life is simple. Deal with what you are given, with what you have from wherever you are and things fall in place on their own accord. Pick up one thing and work on it. The reason why you are here is cause you were meant to be, the reason why you have been given things to deal with is cause you are able to. Human beings are capable of much more than they think themselves to be of. The problem with that species is that they don't trust themselves sufficient enough. I don't.  Maybe You don't either. But we should. 

Its good to be busy ! But its better to be busy with the right things.

Success

Owing to a particular subject in my institute, I have been putting so much thought into this word since the past few days. It almost seemed to dominate my mind and made me introspect upon my inner self. How does one define success ? Have we really, truly ever felt successful ? When was the moment when only the words "Mission Successful" could perfectly describe what you were feeling ? But is that what success is ? Till each and every cell of your body does not scream for joy, is it not called being successful ?

I would say overcoming something that has been bothering you since long is success.
To be able to spend that one extra hour while preparing for an examination when the only sane thing to do is to go off to sleep is success.
To bring a smile on the face of a loved one when everything might seem at a loss to them is success.
To help someone without having any ulterior motives is success.
To be able to complete a deadline when you thought the Universe was completely conspiring against you is success.
That little dance that your heart does, when you completed something that you were so sure you wouldn't be able to ? That's just what I call success.

It is often heard that success brings happiness. I'll modify that line to say that "collective" success brings happiness. When you have someone who went through just the same and undergoes the same amount of happiness as you do, the feeling is a completely different one.
Success comes in little packages, but most of us often tend to ignore it. We get so involved in our own lives, running in the rat race and setting high reaching goals for ourselves, that we forget to celebrate the little successes that life has to offer.
Celebrating doesn't mean throwing a party and calling up each and every acquaintance of yours to share the news with them ! Some celebrations are just meant to be with you, when you sit and value yourself, the work you did, and feel satisfied with all that you were able to accomplish.

Let's just stop trying to make our lives miserable by not keeping too high goals and relishing the little moments on the way to it.
The big thing at the present moment, college has finally started and it brings along with it a number of small opportunities to make the best use of.
As of now ? Mission Successful ;)

Stating The Obvious

This thing, this statement has been there in my mind since quite a long time now. I have been pondering upon this word "obvious" and still haven't been able to figure out what exactly it stands for.
Whatever it is that I am about to say might seem extremely vague, unconnected and not make any sense AT ALL. But then again, maybe it is after writing all this that things might seem A BIT clear and hence my next post might be something more meaningful ;) (Yeah, that's the first time I have used an emoticon in the middle of a post ! )
What is obvious ? What is the most obvious thing surrounding us ? How do we define obvious ? And why do people get so critical when we state the obvious ? Should we keep reminding ourselves and the people around us of the obvious ? Yes. These are the questions running through my mind right now.

According to me, something that is obvious is something that has been taken for granted. Something that we know is of utmost important, but we've just maybe stopped appreciating its existence on a regular basis.
But is that the right thing to do ? You might be able to draw a parallel to what I am saying maybe in terms of the person you've been with since quite a long time, the home-cooked food that your mother prepares everyday, the ironed clothes kept in your room each morning or maybe something as trivial as waking up each morning to the shining sun.
But then again, its not like you don't appreciate them ! It's just that you have become used to them to such an extent that it is almost like breathing. It just comes naturally to have such things, such people around you. You don't even spend a minute imagining life without them, because it is just so OBVIOUS that things will be this way always !

No. That's not how things work. Yes, the main reason for writing this was so that I might be able to understand the dilemma I was going through and maybe prevent someone else from going through just the same. Yes, I came to a conclusion.

If not all the obvious things, atleast appreciate each and every living soul around you. That doesn't mean you send them flowers or buy expensive gifts to show your appreciation, it just means acknowledging them once in a while for being the wonderful people that they are. I haven't been doing enough of that lately and I just hope it isn't too late already.
Stating the obvious isn't a dumb thing to do. Sometimes it the only right thing left.
Yes, that's just what I concluded.

Beginnings

Beginnings are scary. They frighten you. Shake you out of your wits. Make you wonder whether what you are doing is right or not. Creates doubts in your mind. One even tries to avoid beginnings just so as to remain in the comfortable routine that they have so become accustomed to.

On the other hand, beginnings can be exciting ! They give you the opportunity to begin your life from a completely new perspective. Provides you with the chance to meet new people, to explore life more and to get to know your own self better. Beginnings are great.

How does one define a beginning ? For someone each day that dawns might bring a new beginning, each year that ends might signify a new beginning, corporate houses might agree to accept the completion of one financial year as a new beginning. For a student preparing for major exams, achieving a pre-defined target of completion of syllabus might be a new beginning.
Beginnings lead to ends and an end signifies a new beginning. I'll say a beginning is that moment in our life when we decide to change things, when we decide to change ourselves. Sometimes it's not always what we decide, sometimes it's the circumstances that mould themselves in such a way so as to lead us to a beginning and then it is upto us how we approach it.

Where is all this coming from ? A new beginning in my life, second year of college is just about to begin. As excited as I am for this new beginning, I am more so apprehensive and worried because the coming semester, the coming year would change a lot of things. On one hand the pressure of studies and the travelling time will increase due to the shift of our college campus but it will also bring along with it new people, new moments and new memories worth cherishing.
It is not the time to regret all those things that ought to have been done in the past academic year or to be proud of those that we were able to accomplish, but rather to brace ourselves for the coming year, cause due to the lack of time-turners, going back and changing our actions would be an impossible task. The least we can do is to learn from them and move ahead confidently.
We all make mistakes. Who doesn't ? But to let those mistakes set you back is probably the worst one to make.


"When things go wrong as they sometimes will,When the road you are trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit -
Rest if you must, but don't quit. "

- Unknown

The angels we call "Friends"

There have been so many things going on and running through my mind since the past week that whenever I sat down to write something, words just didn't seem to form the right sentences ! I have been trying to clear off all that clutter so as to come up with a theme for this post, but it just wasn't happening. That's when I realized I was looking at the wrong things. I was just focusing on what I shouldn't have been. Instead of finding solutions, I was just stuck staring at the problems. Aah no, nothing has happened. Just the normal day-to-day stuff which sometimes becomes too much to handle and tends to blow you off the handle.

All this sounds too melodramatic, doesn't it ?
It did to me as well, and that is when I started thinking the other way round. I realized it's kinda lucky of me to have things related to other people bothering me up because that means some people find me worthy enough to share with me what's bothering them, to have some expectations of me and perceive me to be close enough to tick me off when I am not able to fulfill them, to get mad at me when I do not contact them over a long period of time and most importantly to get onto my nerves when I've done something wrong according to them. Yeah, these are the little angels we call "Friends".
What an important role these guys play in my life, I cannot even begin to elaborate. It's almost like for each friend that one ever makes during the entire course of their life, there is a small part of them that one carries along with themselves always. It's there hidden somewhere, probably in the way you pronounce a word, hug people, laugh, smile, meet someone or maybe your most frequently used exclamation might just be inspired from them ! Regardless of where this person might be, how often you might talk, there is this habit of yours that will forever remind you of them.

That's why I don't get started off on the topic of these species called "Friends" cause I suddenly get overwhelmed with feelings and tend to start blabbering off anything and everything!
Anyway, the point that I was trying to make was that there are people in this world who will trouble you, drive you crazy, expect stuff from you, shout on you, maintain a low profile just to check if you still care enough for them, probably give you a fifty calls just cause you didn't return the first one and they concluded that something is wrong, drive you insane over a small thing,badger you throughout your life for something they think you ought to do. And you know what ? You ought to do just the same. Cause at the end of the day its the people who you can call up at four in the morning that matter.
Yeah, they might do all this and so much more. But the point that we all forget, or atleast I do, is that these are the people who have been there with us through the thick and thin. These are the people who see us grow up and accept us just the way we are. They bear with us at our worst and get crazy with us at our best.
These angels are there in our lives to help us through those times when we think we wouldn't be able to make it through. Confiding into a loved one, having a silent conversation once in awhile and sharing your heart's deepest and darkest secrets doesn't really burden the other person, but just makes them feel glad to be there for you in that single moment of confusion which you might have passed on your own as well but having a dear one to rely on doesn't really make things worse ever.
    
So here's a big thanks from me to all those people out there who made me the person I am, to those who never really gave up on me and especially to those who never really forgot their right on me when I might have forgotten mine on them. It's an eye-opener for me when I say this that despite all the arguments, misunderstandings, we ought to be more than glad to have such people, who want to be there with us in this journey of our lives.

I am angry.

Today I am compelling myself to think rationally about the things that happen around us, the people that we surround ourselves with, the situations that we find ourselves to be stuck in and most importantly of my own self.
I really don't know what is it that I plan to write today, cause I am angry. Yes, I am very angry today. At myself. At some situations. At some people. Oh yes, angry.

I am angry at the kind of lives that we are living today, which doesn't not even allow us to sit peacefully for five minutes.
I am angry at the amount of work that is expected to be done from us, which just keeps getting piled up day by day.
I am angry at all those people who fail to understand the fact that the kind of era that they live in, the kind of surroundings they find themselves to be in, we live in the same. If they don't have time, nor do we.
I am angry at all those people who just expect. Yeah, just expect and do nothing in return. Yeah, there exists people like that too.
I am angry at those who take up the responsibility of doing some work and then very conveniently forget about it.
I am angry at those who do not realize their importance in others' lives.
I am angry at the people who do not understand the impact that their actions would have on others.

I am not talking about large things, the Government, politics, running of the country etc. etc. Aah no, I am not mad at them. They have too much on their plate already to have another person being angry at the work they do.

It is such an amusing thing. I write about something that makes one happy and makes life worthwhile, and the next few days show me what happens in its absence. Yeah, those little things that I talked about ?
It's little things that are making me mad today. Things which probably in the bigger picture wouldn't even matter ! But then again, it's always been the little things that are worth noticing which make up who we are. I have never really been able to express myself when I am angry. I just end up laughing and that is precisely what I find myself doing right now. That's just what happens ! And then one forgets what was it that made them angry at the first place.

But no, not this time, because most importantly, I am angry at myself. Cause whatever it is that I have written above, I find it in myself too.


"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living, the world owes you nothing ! It was here first. " - Mark Twain

What If

Sometimes I wonder

What if my schooling would have been from someplace else ?
What if it wasn't for the change of branch in second grade that ensured the continued support of the friend that I made then when I probably didn't even understand the true meaning of that six letter word ?
What if in the eventful shuffling of sixth grade I had got separated from that friend who has made sure that all the memories of school that I have only make me smile ?
What if it wasn't for that same shuffling that brought me back with the girl who I remembered as my "first friend" in school ?
What if after the ninth grade shuffling I hadn't found myself amidst completely unknown people, some of who would end up being unimaginable special parts of my life but had found myself with a previously known group of friends ?
What if I hadn't taken up Computers in eleventh grade and met the friend whose mere presence, like I said previously, guarantees four amazing years in college ?

What if I hadn't chosen the college I am currently in ?
What if on the day of the orientation of my college I hadn't gone specifically into the second classroom and sat alongside the person who I can now proudly call my "first college friend" ?
What if I had never laughed along with that girl who was just so busy with her phone the entire time during that day ?
What if the girl who came on the first official day of college had not decided to come and sit next to us but rather beside someone else sitting right in front of the room ?

What if I just hadn't heard the girls behind me shouting my name and hadn't shifted just slightly while walking on the road and thereby prevented myself from getting knocked off by a high speeding bus ?
Yes, so many what ifs. Trust me, I can go on. If you think carefully about where you are and what you're doing right now, I'm sure even you can. You don't really need to know each and every detail of my life to relate to what I have just stated above. I am sure you can easily draw a parallel with your life of almost the same instances.
Its just so funny how some things work out ! Things that seem to be making completely no sense at the present moment might turn out to be the biggest boon of your life!

I have always had my doubts regarding "Fate" or "Destiny", I never really can understand that if it has already been written what is to happen, then whats the significance behind our normal day-to-day lives, the little decisions we make, the chances we take, the cross-roads that we often find ourselves to be at.
I never really understood all this, nor do I think I ever will.

But maybe, just maybe, its like the canvas has been sketched for you, it's upto you how you paint it.
Maybe its been decided you'll end up doing Engineering, it's just in your hands to decide the college you'll end up in.
Maybe it's been written the people you would meet, but upto you to decide how they would influence you in your life.
Maybe the bigger picture has already been created, its just upto you to fill in the details ;)

Little Things That Matter Much

I remember having two pages of our "School Diary" being dedicated to this heading. Yes, these two pages were utilized for reporting complaints like "napkin not brought", "nails not cut" etc. Little things, that hardly take up five minutes of our day but would still not be done, were brought to notice of our parents.
Just a few hours back I realized how much doing little things that might seem insignificant to us can make a huge difference in someone else's life.

A month back I had got the opportunity to work with the kids at Parichay, an NGO located in East Delhi district of New Delhi. It has been exactly one month since I left that community and despite promising the kids to be in touch with them, I have been able to visit them just once till now. One can argue that I have been constantly in touch with them via mobile phones, but the sense of happiness achieved upon going and meeting them personally can never be the same. It has been on my mind since the past week that I need to visit them again ! I wanted to ! But somehow things just didn't seem to be working out until the fruitful evening of today when we were finally able to chalk out a plan ! Yes, we are going to meet the kids tomorrow. When I called them to tell them of this news that they had been eagerly waiting for, it almost seemed like the excitement somehow got transferred via the phone ! They were so happy ! So delighted ! I could almost picture all of them beaming from ear to ear. And trust me, just hearing the kids getting this excited got me to cloud nine !
I never promised those kids any material gifts, it was just a simple gesture of going and meeting them and this got them to be so happy ! Its not even a gesture yet, its just a thought in process !
Yes, all of this got me thinking, there are so many little things in life that we can do for others which can brighten up their day, little things that we take for granted that are planted especially in our path of normal days to make them extra special.

An innocent smile, a small hug, an encouraging pat, a grateful note, a heart-felt letter, a five minute call to someone who feels forgotten, a mail written to someone far away, an out-of-the blue text, little things that may take up just ten minutes of our day may become the reason for someone's smile for an entire week.

Its a little basic fact of life that everyone here in this large Universe is beautiful and it just takes little ignorance for one to forget this and just a little effort by a little someone to remind them of the same :) .

The Year that Was

It might seem like an offbeat topic to start a personal blog with, but the reason why I am actually writing and posting this is because of all that happened this past year. Trust me, there wouldn't be any better way to get started with this blog .

The past year had so much to teach me, owing to the fact that it was the "transition year" of my life, when we were supposed to leave the comfort zones of our schools and enter a completely new,different and unknown phase of our lives. As cliched as the previous sentence might have sounded, it is completely true !
It is one thing to sit in the comfortable classrooms under the extensive care and guidance of your high school teachers and hear them talk of all the difficulties that one might face in the years ahead and a completely different thing to find yourself amidst all those difficulties with just a person or two by your side.

Aah no, I am not trying to scare anyone off ! These are just the bag of emotions that I feel when I think of what all we were going through during this time, just an year back. The feeling of graduating from the place we called "home" for fourteen years of our lives hasn't even sunk in yet and we're already running the rat-race of securing ourselves a seat in a college which would soon become our life for the coming few years.
Entrances, exams, tensions, results, excitements, counselling, insomnia, confusions, what have we not gone through during this "transition period" !

However, all of this seems completely justified when finally you get accepted by a college which seems great (maybe not initially, but later definitely !) pursuing a course of your choice. For me, the happiness was doubled to have with me a dear friend, a source of strength, someone whose mere presence ensures that despite the difficulties, the coming four years would be completely amazing.

When I try to remember the happenings of the past year, I just can't seem to remember much except the initial week of college ! The anxiety and excitement of meeting new people, getting used to a new atmosphere and most importantly the new schedule which needed to be followed.
Yes, IIITD was what had happened. Yes, it is one of the best things to have happened to me ! Not only did it bring with itself truckloads of work and deadlines but also enriched my life with some absolutely amazing people, people who make me wonder how my life seemed complete prior to the past year.

The year brought me the realization that regardless of whatever people might say about "friends after school", those who are meant to be, you'll still find them by your side.
Seen in retrospect, everything that happened then, makes complete sense now. If nothing else, I now know that whatever happens, happens for a reason.

Just give time a chance. Let the bigger picture unfold.